Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Boxing Day Blues

I am so depressed now :0( I hate when Christmas ends. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I had the rest of the week off, but cos I don't, I've got the Sunday Night Blues again. Had a good Christmas it has to be said. First things first, the gift list.


A Nintendo DS Lite in White (so Apple-esque - didn't see that one coming, brilliant!)
A Talking Nev (Yay!)
Complete Eddie Izzard Boxed Set
Russell Brand Live DVD
Waterskiing Dogs Calendar
Book about why animals do strange and curious things
Selection of coffees
An Origami Desk Calendar (as in, you make something every day out of paper, the calendar itself isn't made of it)
White Chocolate Orange (the ONLY chocolate I've had)
Some other random stuff which was cool but to list wouldn't make for very good reading.

So I did pretty well. The lunchbox that looks like a Lego brick and ice cube tray that makes Lego brick ice cubes went down well with Hefty. How could such items not?!! I also got him a DC Comics book, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Blade Runner....erm, other stuff I can't remember. God my memory's crap. Fortunately, I have Dr Kawashima's Brain Training for the DS. Unfortunately, Hefty's on it because he's now addicted to Sudoku. My brain is currently in its 40s according to the test I did earlier. A bit worrying when you're not even 30. I put it down to the time of year, day, anything really. I'll get the better of that pesky Kawashima one day.

So we didn't do much on Saturday. On Sunday, naturally we had to watch Nev on TV, who was a triumph as always. We watched The Muppet Christmas Carol in the evening, with egg nog, home-made by me! Not sure it counts as cooking, everything is technically raw, but it involved electric whisks and stuff so I'm counting it.

On Chrimbo Day we had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast, very nice, a break from the usual Costco croissants we tend to ply ourselves with. We got ready and went to my sister's for the day. Biz was on top form, though at sixteen months, still doesn't really get the concept of presents. She didn't understand why there were so many toys and why they were all for her, so she ignored them and played with her old ones. She was flippin loud, I was sat next to her at the table and she kept shouting which deafened me after a while. The food was grand but I wasn't hungry!! Can you believe it!! Me and my stupid stomach. So I didn't eat much, but didn't care so, meh. We got home quite late and watched Glorius (By Eddie Izzard for any folk who have nuh idearrr). Then went to bed and put on Definite Article, so we were Eddied out by this morning. Today we cooked our own feast. Well, Hefty did. I don't cook, I clear up, so that's the way it worked!! We had a guest today though, my best friend Kattya's Mum SarahMum (called so because when Kattya and I used to leave notes to her from us, we'd always write Sarah/Mum, to make sure we had addressed her correctly from both angles) came to share the goods. Hefty's food was a triumph, he is a genius, I don't know how he does it but I'm glad I married him!! SarahMum had a lovely time, and it was nice for us all to be together and chat. She brought us plants for the house too, so we'll get em planted in a tub or something this weekend, which should give our garden a new lease of life.

So now I'm sat wishing I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. I know I'll be alright once I get there but it doesn't make you want to go any more. I might eat in a minute, not out of hunger, out of greed. Which is allowed at this time of year. I'm quite scared though cos I have to go to hospital tomorrow morning to be poked and prodded so they can decide whether I've got Endometriosis or not. Great. That'll be fun, not exactly festive is it? It's probably the reason I'm so depressed. HATE hospitals, doctors, anything like that. But I need sorting out so I shall reluctantly go :0(

Oh I wish it was Christmas Eve again. I hate this. Might watch Garth to cheer me up. If Hefty can tear himself away from Sodoku.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody! Hope it's a good one!

Love iP x

Friday, December 22, 2006

Let me out

I am currently most distressed.

This week, I have been uber busy. We had Monday off and braved the city, which was hellish, more because the weather was so poor. I hate half-arsed rain, you get wet but don't realise til you've got in a shop. Anyway I got some last minute stuff but was quite traumatised by the time I got home and just wanted to sleep.

Tuesday saw the arrival of Nabaztag!! He's a pretty cool dude, gives us traffic news, chats about stuff, his lights flash. That's as far as we've got really, need to get him doing more stuff, but we've had too much other gubbins to do!! On Tuesday night we went out with SuperSaz to Nando's, which was chicken-tastic. Then we had gingerbread lattes from Starbucks. It was kind of late when we got home, so I put some Boosh on and snoozed whilst Hefty fiddled with le bunny (who we have named 'Nimonikku' - Japanese for something or other).

On Wednesday, our new addition to the family started shouting and flashing his lights at 5am! Turned out he was still on French time (his homeland), but I couldn't sleep after that so got up. I spent the whole day feeling sick and wanting to go to sleep. I was not happy with Nimonikku for this behaviour, but I suppose it wasn't really his fault. That night, we went to an actual supermarket instead of relying on our on-line deliveries. A brand spanking new Sainsbury's beckoned, and we got some random stuff, but I couldn't tell you what simply because it was so random. We then stopped off at SarahMum's place of work, to give her some Christmassy gubbins. SarahMum is my best friend Kattya's mum, and I have known her for about 20 years I reckon. She is like a second mum to me and Hefty, she's great!! We didn't get home til about 10pm though, and I was shattered! But slept terribly, so......

.....on Thursday I was ridiculously tired again and just wanted to sleep all day. Work was totally unproductive, but after it had finished, I had to go out YET AGAIN to Costco!! We bought some wicked cheeses and stuff, but it did me in, and when we got home, I had to go straight to bed. Nimonikku did some talking and light flashing, but I was too tired to pay much attention.

Today, is Friday, which would normally be a good thing, but isn't. Which leads me to why I'm distressed. Everyone in the business is finishing at 3pm today, except for Milk Buying!! We have to stay because of the Farmer Emergency Line!! We have to be here to man the phones until 5pm when the poor soul who's on call takes over. But, I have absolutely NOTHING to do!! I mean yes, I could do some stuff, but it can wait, and I have zero motivation, so we've basically been sat here all day waiting for 5pm :0( On the plus side, JT bought me Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD, and she got me the soundtrack to it! So I'll watch that tomorrow, as well as Santa Claus: The Movie and Supergirl, which will be trick. Got to dye my hair again tomorrow though too, as my roots are quite bad, and given that they're blonde, it doesn't look too sexy.

We did have a buffet at work today, which should have been exciting. They put one on every year, but it wasn't that great this time. It was kind of greasy, and there was nothing with cheese in it!! Rubbish! So I'm bored, distressed, and want to go home.

Only 3 hours to go I guess.............sigh........

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hefty's Birthday

It's Hefty's birthday today!! Alas, the Nabaztag/tag that I ordered for him did not arrive in time. It is however (allegedly) arriving on Tuesday, so I suppose we'll at least have it before Christmas, which is better than nothing. I could have easily got him the normal Nabaztag (Armenian for 'rabbit' don't 'cha know), but the new one is so utterly awesome, it had to be that one. To compensate, he got a Star Trek mug, The Dark Crystal DVD, some nuts (I was struggling) and some cheese made by some people with the same surname as us. I printed the info for le bunny off Firebox (in colour no less) and wrapped that up. He was ecstatic, and doesn't at all mind that he's getting it two days late. Unfortunately, amongst other things, his folks (who came up from Staffordshire yesterday) bought him the new Stephen Fry General Ignorance book, which I had purchased for Christmas. So I don't know what I'm going to do with it now. I'm thinking of going on Freecycle, but what I get in return might be rubbish, so I'm stuck for ideas. Anyone fancy a barter?
We went to an uber authentic Italian restaurant last night, and had a fabulous meal, before coming home and watching one of those ubiquitous '100 Greatest....' programmes. We're off tomorrow, and are going to brave the City. It could be the wrost idea we've had, but since the fancy scented Christmas cards that I ordered haven't come, I need cards for my family. Plus, stamps, for all the cards I STILL haven't posted because I'm rubbish sometimes.
Ooh, miracle of miracles, West Ham beat Man U today. Must be a fluke. Am very confused. And still want Pards back.
Am going to buy a book called 'Why penguins feet don't freeze' tomorrow, because someone at work got it in Secret Santa and it looks awesome. I shall use vouchers I got for my birthday. Brilliant! Free books! Essentially. It's my big boss's birthday today too. My boss and I bought him a Wee Me mug, hope he likes it. The resemblance was uncanny. He says 'effectively' a lot, so we got 'Effectively' Jeff's Mug put on it. Hopefully he'll see the funny side. Can't see why he wouldn't. After all, he let me have Rod Hull Day. I'll tell you on Tuesday.

If I still have a job.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Tired beyond belief

I am so tired. So very, very tired. So tired, I am going to have list my activities this week, because the idea of collating them in to proper sentences scares the bejesus out of me.

1. The Wii is phenomenal. I haven't had a proper go on it yet cos I'm too tired, but Hefty is loving it.

2. My Christmas party was pretty cool, though the food was a bit crap. I spent the evening hanging with Super Saz and JT. Then I spoke to someone who had been really ill, and smelled of sick. I didn't like to tell him this though, so I just co-ordinated my breathing so that I didn't have to smell it. I got to bed at about 1.30am, and got up at 6.00am. This is why I am so tired.

3. I had a day off and went to see my sister and Biz. My mother and Grandparents were there. It was alright, though my mother is rather annoying as all she does is talk about herself. Then my sister and Biz and I went shopping. We had a lovely lunch at M&S and I bought some random gubbins, including a musical biscuit tin.

4. I hit my head (just above the eye) on my car door getting shoes out. It's bruised, and frikkin hurts.

5. We did Secret Santa at work and somebody bought me Supergirl on DVD. Awesome!!

6. JT bought Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD for me, and I picked up Santa Claus the movie for £5.00.

7. My uber-brilliant-fab birthday present for Hefty will NOT be arriving in time, despite them originally promising I'd get it on the 13th December. 22nd now they reckon. Yeah, that's gonna happen. Punks.

7. We now have Alan Curbishley as our manager. I don't want him. If we win, great, but I still don't like him or want him, despite his history.

8. Tomorrow I am going out for lunch with Ming. Looking forward to it, as though I talk to him a fair bit, it's a while since we went on a social sojourn together.

9. I am sick of hearing about Diana. It was 10 years ago, if you don't know what happened by now then you never will. Either way, I don't care, I'm just sick of hearing about it.

10. Hefty's parents are coming up at the weekend. We are trying a new Italian restaurant out. I hope it's good. Plus, I'm hungry. I'm planning on eating before then though.

I need to go to sleep now, or I may never function properly again. Not that I ever really did.

iP Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................

Monday, December 11, 2006


Today we got the Wii. So I'm off to play it. But not after I've stated my devastation at the sacking of Alan Pardew. What a strange mix of emotions I'm feeling. Wii joy, Pards despair. Oh cruel, cruel world.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Random ramblings

This week I have been off, had the boiler fixed, cleaned like a maniac, wrapped presents, written some cards, and slept a lot due to being uber tired. Today, I am being paranoid because some f*cker has been using my credit card details to buy coach tickets and shop in Argos!!! Argos of all places!!!! So now there is a fraud team somewhere out there working on my case. I have a case! Brilliant. Let's hope Jessica Fletcher's heading it up, I want that pesky thief caught and punished!!! West Ham lost spectacularly yesterday, looks like we're heading dahn sarf again. Joy. On the plus side, last night Hefty and I watched the Mighty Boosh Live DVD that I got for my birthday. It was wickedace! How I love the Boosh, and it made up for us missing seeing them live, which was my fault cos I got stuck in Leicester with work.

The Jonotron left the UK again yesterday :0( He's going for a few years this time! Most traumatic. He nearly didn't make it cos he over-slept, and only woke up because someone rang him. He doesn't change. So that's it. No idea when I'll see him again, but it's all a bit weird and I want him to come back already. He has faithfully promised not to develop any common sense though, as I need to know that there's someone else out there who thinks like I do. The fact that he promised proves my point, as how can you promise something that might change? Clearly it won't change. Now I'm confusing myself, which means I, at least, have remained the same.

It may be a busy week, as I have to go to Sainsbury's (an actual shop, I missed out on a slot this week for online), drop by my folks' house, pay another visit to Costco, AND go on my work Christmas party. Looking forward to it actually, not something I usually do but it looks promising this year. It's at a beautiful stately home hotely place, one I visited many times when my friend South African Caryn was staying there. Alas she won't be there, but there will be plenty of other interesting types there, and the menu is tres appetising. You know where you are with a posh country house type place, and it's going to look well festive, so I'm looking forward to it. Super Saz is going to stay at mine so she can get drunk. She promises not to throw up in Flexo, so if she does, I shall have to think of a suitable punishment. Death might be a good one to start with.

I have to just vent about something quickly. I wish people would stop going on about MySpace. It looks shit, is shit, and every bugger and his wife doesn't need to be on it to feel some sense of worth. The fact that the repulsive Lily Allen has one should be enough to make any dumbass realise it's crap. There. Had to get that out cos I'm sick of hearing about it.

It's Hefty's birthday next Sunday, so I'm very excited!! I'll have to tell you what I got him afterwards though, cos if he reads this I'm buggered! Really desperate people can email me on pizzapandah at google mail dot com if necessary, but I'm not sure many people read this so I can't imagine interest being terribly high. Suffice to say, it's trick, and I hope he likes it.

I'm off to the co-op now to buy something random to eat, as I'm feeling random. It's windy as hell out there but, meh, when you're feeling random, you may as well act random.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

My birthday!

Today was my birthday! Yay!! It was kind of random in parts. Got some cool pressies, Mighty Boosh DVDs, a watch, a wickedace top from South African Caryn that says "Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Kills People", some other stuff I can't remember. My sister came round with Biz, entertaining as always. She made a beeline for the Christmas tree but we quickly got her away from it. She threw a right paddy when Hefty made a paper hat out of some wrapping and put it on her head. Oh the hilarity. Then, after they left, we thought we could smell gas. Called the gas people, they came and condemned the boiler!!! It's leaking gas like a bastard!! Luckily, as the house is only 5 months old, we don't have to pay for it, but it meant we couldn't really go out cos we had to wait around in case someone came to replace it. They didn't. Punks. So anyway, my friend came round and we ate cakes. Then, Hefty and I ate some nice food, not just any food, M&S food, as the advert goes. It was very nice, except I hadn't considered that a Steak and Ale pie would have the same effect on me as a shot of vodka. I broke out in a right rash!! Rubbish! I'm still itching now which is highly irritating (no pun intended). I also feel a bit sick now, hope I'm not in for a rough night....
West Ham lost spectacularly today, good job it's only the FA Cup. Doubt we're heading for the final this year though.
God I'm so tired. This is a bit of a disjointed entry, apologies, I'm just shattered, and as I said, it's been a funny day. I'd like to force myself to eat birthday cake, but I don't dare.
My friend has dried our washing for us seeing as our heating is off. She's coming over in a minute so I should probably go. But all in all it's been a pretty good birthday. And I'm 27 now!! Scary!!!!

Oh well. Roll on Christmas.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

You remind me of the babe....

It's been a funny week. Busy too, never good. Anyhoo, I essentially broke up for the weekend on Thursday, which was nice. After another expensive (but worth it) trip to Costco, we got home, ate, and watched Labyrinth. Have to say, I do love that film, it's awesome! I pretty much know it off by heart too but Bowie is just so phenomenal, I can't help myself! I've got Hostel to watch too, but Hefty won't watch it cos he's heard it's sicker and worse than Wolf Creek, which freaked me out big time. BUT, everyone I spoke to said it's just like Saw, if slightly more gruesome. But he won't watch it, so I'll have to find time to watch it on my own if I'm ever going to see it. I can live with gore, it's stuff like The Grudge (Japanese version, US one was piss poor) that gives me the wiggins. Who knows. If I ever see it I'll fill you in.
So yesterday was supposed to be a great day, putting up the tree, spot of Christmas shopping, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, we had the snagging list man round doing stuff that, well, needed doing. All we could do was sit in and wait. I did receive gifts from my super friend South African Caryn (including a birthday present, but I haven't opened that yet) which cheered me up. Some beef jerky-esque stuff called Biltong, and some Iced Zoo biscuits, which are like Iced Jems but in biscuit form. South African Caryn rules! She went back to her place of origin on Tuesday, for the next couple of years!!! So I can't see her or even talk to her, which sucks :0( So anyway that was a highlight, and the man didn't leave til about 2pm. We got ready and went to the local garden centre at that point, to pick up some additional decs. Got a nutty/berry wreathy thing, and some green garland stuff for the banisters. It looks pretty good, we put them up when we got home. Managed to get the tree up in the lounge too, it was all just a bit rushed cos we were so late doing it all.
Today, we went to M&S and bought a shed load of stuff. Meat, more meat, cakes, erm, other things I'm sure. Not as much as I had anticipated though, as alas, my birthday plans have been thwarted somewhat. basically, not one single person who was coming to my tea party, can come anymore. Genuine reasons, but it's put a bit of a downer on the whole thing. Still, my sister's coming round with little Biz in tow, and we have lots of nice food to eat. They're turning on the lights in the village too so we might go and see that. Nothing too exciting, but I'm sure it'll be cool anyway. Might watch The Santa Clause tonight, it's another corker. I need to get Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD, my mucky VHS copy is kind of redundant since we got the B&O. So yes, tomorrow is my birthday, let's hope it's a good one! Got to go now, dinner is ready. Will return tomorrow!

iP - last day of being 26

Monday, November 27, 2006


I was well tired today! Lack of sleep as per usual. I stay up to watch Torchwood, even though it's dire, and it makes me uber sleepy every Monday morning. Going to dye my hair again tonight, it should be all dark and lovely. I have one of my school meetings tomorrow so I can showcase it there. I've been faithfully promised that there'll be food at it this time, instead of manky chocolate biscuits like there usually is. At my meeting this is, I sort of made that sound like it was something to do with my hair. I don't think I have a great deal to say today, which is dull. Sorry about that. It's cos all I've done today is speak to mardy farmers and sleep inbetween doing reports. Ooh, apart from when I went to Costco. But I go there every week so the excitment factor has worn off. I can tell you that they have the world's biggest Toblerone there for the bargain price of 40 squid. If you like that kind of thing.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Going loco

Today was a good day! I am recovered at last! After a crappy week, I woke up today feeling pretty fly! Hefty and I watched Saturday Kitchen in bed whilst drinking fresh coffee, then we got up and went to get Hefty's hair cut. It's a bit of a drive, but he won't go anywhere else and I'm happy to take him. While he was being shorn, I looked round some funky shops, and bought some Christmas presents for him. Then we came home, had lunch, and I had a snooze whilst watching Poirot. Bliss. And now I've just got back from Chiquito's, a Mexicany restaurant, where we went with my best friend Kattya, her boyfriend C, her sister (and our friend) Squiz, and my little bruv the Jonotron. Hilarity ensued, as we spent all evening trying to take amusing photos. They were VERY amusing, down-right hysterical to be honest, but describing them to you would be none of these things, so I'll simply say that I haven't laughed that much in ages!! We were pissing other diners off with all the flashing apparently (the camera flash that is), but who cares?! We don't all meet up very often, and you don't go to that kind of restaurant for a quiet, intimate meal. Hefty is currently attempting to get the photos he took off his phone and on to the G5, but he reckons they're not very good. Let's hope Squiz's are!! She had a proper camera though, so they should be!! I say proper camera, every time I tried to take a photo the bloody thing turned itself off. I'm not much good at these things though, it has to be said. Oh, and West Ham won today!! Brilliant! We're 15th now, bad, but better!!! Tomorrow I'm going to dye my hair again. Did I mention that one weekend I just randomly dyed it really dark brown? It looks AWESOME!!! I thought I'd look horrendous (but did it anyway, as you do), but it looks wickedace. Very Lacuna Coil, which is the main thing. Mocha Brown is the colour, it's nice!! Have to do it again though cos it's faded already, and I want to keep it looking gothy. We're also going to Starbucks tomorrow for Gingerbread lattes!! At last!!! And then we're going to Toys R Us to get some stuff for my niece Biz. Can't wait for that! Toy stores are wonderful for immature folk like me! What I really want at the mo, is a talking Nev toy. Nev, for those of you who don't know, is an awesome blue bear thing from CBBC. He's now mainly on SMILE, the CBBC Sunday morning thing. He's well cool, says really random things, has half an ear missing, and is blue!!! I really want one anyway, but they cost £30.00 which is a right rip! Anyways, I'm getting a bit sleepy now, had a busy day! Ooh it's my birthday a week tomorrow, yay!! Next weekend is going to be even better! Plus, we've booked Friday off to put up the Chrimbo decs! Ooh I love December so much, it's the best!!!

Happy iP

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Well, the evil cold type thing I developed, finally took hold of me yesterday. I went to work feeling lousy, but from 3pm onwards I just got worse. My eyes started watering excessively, my hilarious colleagues decided to give me marks out of ten for coughs and sneezes, and when hometime came, I honestly thought I was too ill to drive home. But I did, and was forced to eat something by Hefty, even though I have NO appetite. Bit of a rough night, am ridiculously hot which didn't help with the old sleeping, so I woke up this morning and just thought "ugh." So I spent today at home, mostly sleeping, but I decided I'd have to get up and try to get going, cos I hope to be okay tomorrow. I can usually work with a cold, it's not nice but I manage, however this has been different and really knocked me for six. Hopefully this means I won't be ill for mine and Hefty's birthdays and Christmas though, which will be a vast improvement on last year!
We never made it for gingerbread lattes on Saturday due to the onslaught of my cold, so I'm going to have to make a special effort this weekend instead! Still got some Christmas presents to buy, my organisation this year has astounded me. Ooh, but I still need Christmas cards and an advent calendar! A proper one, not a gay chocolate one with crap pictures. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to these things. I'm off to have a look then, on line of course, as if I'd move from my seat!

Sunday, November 19, 2006


I have had such an odd couple of weeks. I've been ill on and off with random headaches, sickness, the beginnings of a cold, I generally feel crap. Last night, I slept HORRIBLY, the worst I have ever slept, so I now have a right blinder behind the eyes, the eyes themselves being puffy as hell. Maybe I have S.A.D. Though I'm not sure it makes you feel like you have a cold. Oh the wretchedness of it all. Needless to say my motivation to do anything has been at an all time low. I apologise for my lack of blogdom, I can't write it through the day really, and when I get home at the moment I just want to go to bed.
Today Hefty and I are going to go to Starbucks to sample the Christmas range they do. Will have to purchase some of their Christmas blend for home too, something we do every year without fail cos it rules. I always tell myself to get a gingerbread latte because as much as I love the egg nog ones, they're always sickly as hell. The gingerbread one tastes like a pudding or something, it's nice. As Borat would say. I'm writing drivel here, but I thought I should make my presence known again in case anyone does still read this and has been disappointed by my recent lack of committment to it. I have sneezed all the way through this, and am sick of blowing my nose. Oh the torment. I'm going to sign off now and make an attempt to record the day's events later on. After I have taken medication. And gingerbread lattes.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Happy Scotch Egg Day!

Happy Scotch Egg Day people, hope it was the stuff of dreams. It was for me, until I'd eaten mine and wished I'd bought a spare. Still, life's full of disappointments. I'm just going to have to make it more of an event next year I think. Anyway, exciting news on the Tony Hart Day front. I went on Tony's official website and apparently you can book him!! Wow! Now that would be cool! Also, he has an online gallery, and you can submit your pictures! Bonza!! So we're going to try and submit the winner of our competition in the hope it'll go up there! Fingers crossed!
I have overdosed on Maoams again. We bought loads for trick or treaters but were only visited by one, so now I'm duty bound to finish off the rest of the blessed pumpkin pail. Ouch. My gums hurt, but I can't stop eating them. Curses.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Scotch Egg Day - 1st November

I have decided to start a new 'day'. Along with my previous invention of Original Rod Hull Day - 3rd August, I am now proposing that the 1st of November be Scotch Egg Day. I tried my first one on Friday at our Halloween Party, and couldn't believe it! It was pretty good, so tomorrow we're all eating them at lunch time. Hefty is joining in at his office, but he's not convinced it will be as much fun. They don't have an instigator of all things random and unlikely there, I'm truly one of a kind it would seem. So, if anyone wants to join in, please do so!

On another note, I have now created Tony Hart Day, which will take place in December some time (haven't decided when yet), and will involve everyone in the office making a masterpiece for the 'Gallery' next to my desk. The winner will receive a grand prize. I intend to sculpt Morph and Chas characters out of plasticine, and do some other cool stuff that I also haven't yet thought of. I can't wait!!

iP - looking forward to tomorrow when my breath is going to smell of gas!

Sunday, October 29, 2006


I have decided to call my new car Flexo. It suits him, and you can't beat having a Futurama reference in a situation like this. Well I currently feel like shit. Our neighbours came round last night and I haven't stopped sneezing since!! They have cats you see, and I'm highly allergic, but it aint wearing off! So I have an uber sore nose and just want to go to bed. Then we decided to brave IKEA today, just in case they had anything we wanted. Surprisingly, they did, but then we were all evacuated!!! WTF? No idea why, but it meant we couldn't buy anything. Never mind, we bought plenty from Habitat yesterday, that'll put us on for a week. Hey, West Ham are one up against Blackburn at the mo. We SO need a win, but I'm not holding my breath. Oh I need to go to bed, I really do feel dreadful. I love cats, but damn them!!

Thursday, October 26, 2006


Tis a great shame, but the skeleton gloves were far too small for my man hands. I suppose they are meant for kids, but I thought they'd have a bit of give. Surely some kids have man hands too? So in the end I bought some fangs for 49p. They'll do. Along with some Haribo halloween mix things, chocolate pumpkin lollipops, and Doritos for a nice savoury change. I posted my letter which cost 8.95!!! I don't have a pound sign on my Mac cos I got it from America but I mean 8 POUNDS 95 PENCE!!!! It's for that delivery before 9am thing though, so I guess it's worth it if I can pick up my car tomorrow. My Mum phoned me to say that I should pick it up next Wednesday (1st November) because otherwise they'll back-date the tax to the end of September, so next year I'll essentially lose a month's tax. And, when I have to get an MOT in 3 years I'll have to have it done a month early so I can get my new tax disc. It's all kind of annoying, but I reckon he's taxed it by now so I'm not sure what to do. I'm not THAT bothered, prolly cos this is the first time she's mentioned it so I've clearly lost out on all my other cars, but she only found out because someone told her when she bought her Mini, so now she knows ALL about it. I might ring em, but I've worked so hard to get it done for Friday that I can't be arsed. I'm insured now, I'd have to ring my insurance company again and sort that out, what a faff. My insurance isn't due to till March anyway so it's going to be faffy for me whatever I do so I might just leave it. Might ask him about it tomorrow though, see what he says.
I'm hungry, some food and a cup of tea might be in order. Though I was going to do some house work cos our new table and chairs are coming next Friday. Very exciting! Got 20% off with a voucher in some random magazine I got free through the door. And, because we saved over 200 squids, we can then go and stock up on other Habitat goodies with the cash we've saved!! Yay! How I love Habitat, and filling my house with it :0) So that's all good. Not much on this weekend thankfully, we can do as little as poss, bliss. Ooh eck, my stomach is rumbling to kingdom come, I'd best get some fodder. Ciao for now peeps, keep on keepin on. And all that.

The genius of Ford

Well, Ford has surpassed himself, and totally made up for becoming a maths teacher (no offence dude, but it's not a position stacked with credibility). He has constructed a Star Wars Lego Chess Set!!! It's totally awesome and I now want one! Alas, the pics he sent me are huge and kind of blurry, so I need a better one to put on here, which I shall chase him for. But it's worth waiting for. I took today off to look after my friend but she's still in hospital cos her blood pressure dropped beyond the realms of belief. I feel sick as a dog myself, so we're not doing too well really. I'm going to go out in a minute though to post off my car gubbins, and buy some Halloween stuff for the party we're having at work tomorrow. Bit more conventional than Rod Hull Day or Rainbow Day, but it had to be done. I'm going to get some skeleton gloves that I saw in the co-op for 2 English punds. And some other gubbins, maybe fangs, but I don't want to over-do it. Usually I ALWAYS over-do it, but on this occasion, I think less is more, at a time of year when everyone else is going to over-do it. When I return I shall inform you of my wares.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Blue leg

My friend had her op today, it seems to have gone well, she was emailing me 20 minutes after she'd woken up! What a techno fiend!!! She might have a blue leg for a while because of the dye, which is rather exciting. She could be in an Intel advert if she wanted to! Anyways, seeing her tomorrow all day so hopefully all will be well. Not sure if I'm going to get this car on Friday though, the loan company are being random. It's all rather annoying!!! But hey, it's not the end of the world if I get it on Monday. Especially not if the weather continues like this, it's horrendous!!!! Absolutely miserable and depressing. And cold. I might go to bed. And eat Chinese. Mmmmmmmm....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Throw life at it

I am returned. Shameful I know, but my absence was necessary, if not intentional. First off, it's been a tricky couple of weeks cos my best friend was diagnosed with skin cancer. Consequently, I have been spending my evenings trying to make her feel better and ease her worries - not that easy!! But we're making progress and are all feeling very positive. She's having an operation on Wednesday to remove as much of the dreaded lurgey as possible, and, all being well, it might be the only op she needs providing it hasn't spread too far. Then, I was referred to a specialist because I might have an exciting ailment called endometriosis, which could make me infertile!! And let's not even get on to the subject of West Ham and their apalling series of losses recently. Pards reckons we're playing well so it's encouraging. Hmm, not that encouraging Alan, this is how we ended up getting relegated a couple of years ago......
Anyhoo, in light of all this tragedy (my niece was also hospitalized but is thankfully okay now), Hefty and I have decided to buy a new car. He wants a Lexus, I'm too scared to drive one in case I prang it or worse! So I've made the executive decision to let him get an IS200 when he's learned to drive, and in the meantime, I'm going to get me a sporty Suzuki Swift. I'm loving Suzuki as (so far, touch wood) their customer service is second to none!!! And I like the Swift, cos it's pretty cool and has won loads of awards. Plus it's got loads of cool stuff in it. 6 CD player thingy, keyless driving/door opening, air con, alloys, seats that go up and down as well as backwards and forwards, and the best boot in the world! Seriously, it's big as it is, then you can move the seats back and sort of fold them over each other to make this HUGE chasm of a boot that you could fit a lot of stuff in! Can't think of a big thing that I'm likely to put in there at the mo, but I will do! It'll be good for when we go to Costco at least, cos we always come back with shit-loads of stuff from there. I'm waiting to hear from the loan company and if they do a Del Monte, I'm going ahead!! Thinking of getting it in Galactic Grey, cos it's a trick colour, and has the obvious Battlestar association. This has made me wonder what to call the new addition to the family Pandah. Aollo is my fave character from BSG, but I have already named SuperSaz's car Captain Apollo, because it's a Polo. See what I did there? And Starbuck is out cos people will think it's coffee-related rather than sci-fi. Adama just sounds wrong, and as good as Boomer could be, she WAS a Cylon, albeit a good one. So I was thinking Bender, as it's sort of the same colour, but I'm not sure. I'm sure something will come to me, hopefully along with a loan approval.
Tomorrow I'm going to a Christening. I will know about 5 people out of the 40 going, and that includes the parents and baby. But it's cool, Hefty and I can raid the buffet table, which is sure to be a good one. Oooh, did anyone watch Man to Man with Dean Learner? Inspired, finally something decent to watch on a Friday night. Apart from QI which is also spanky fab. So that's been my life for the past couple of weeks. Nothing too exciting to report (sorry Pawpads), but sometimes that's just the way of things. I'll try and regulate me blogs from now on, but I'm still trying to help my friend, and as she lives opposite me, there'll be looking after to do.

Be seeing you.


Sunday, October 15, 2006


I know, I haven't blogged for aaages. I'm sorry, I'm a bad Pandah :0( It's just been very busy, hectic etc. so I simply haven't had time. I apologise. I'm not going to blog now either, not in a lengthy way cos I want to go to bed, so I'm sorry AGAIN. But I will, at some point, I promise.

Sunday, October 08, 2006


Today is so random, it may as well be a Terry Gilliam film. I was sat in bed drinking fresh coffee and reading papers until 12pm. During the course of this session I learned about Deb balls, twins, women who eat every meal of the day in a restaurant, Chanel Sublimage cream and an Australian woman called Lorelei who likes to wear table cloths. Now, I am sat in our beloved Mac Suite wearing a Superman cape, because it's a tad chilly and I'm too lazy to go all the way up to floor three for a top. It was the only thing I could find in here to wear. It was given to me by a lovely Danish lady at work called Lotte, who got loads of free Superman goodies and knew how much I liked him. She didn't want them so I ended up with stationery, a mug, some coasters and this cape. Tremendous. Sadly she left the company some months ago because they decided that someone else could do her job as well as their own instead. We haven't heard about any of the products she used to market since so clearly that was a stroke of genius. On Thursday we got a schedule emailed to us telling us when all the new Cravendale adverts were going to be on. There's two different ones apparently. Great. As if I give a shit. Everyday I resist the urge to email the Cravendale brand team to ask them if they don't think it's a little freaky that cows want their own milk back because they want to drink it themselves. I wouldn't want to drink my own milk. Plus those 'strawberry' cow adverts they put on were akin to some kind of messed up Evil Dead/Omen type film. No, they don't look like strawberries they look like they've escaped a Hammer Horror-esque slaughterhouse where they revelled in rolling about in the blood of their brethren. And don't get me started on the Anchor adverts. What a waste getting Stephen Fry and Tony Robinson to lend their voices to a couple of cartoon bovines so innovatively called 'Cow' and 'Moo.' These people get paid to roll out this crap. Still, I guess they top that highly irritating Frosties advert by miles. Or the Sheila's Wheels one. Or that GHASTLY Picture Loans one where the man so casually checks with his wife that it is in fact 25 grand that they want to borrow. I know I often decide I need a loan and then think, how much did I want again? Before discussing football with a total stranger. But then, the people at Picture are "so easy to talk to."
On Wednesday, we went to see Clerks II, which was a triumph. I knew it was going to be good before we even went in, when the guy who tore off our tickets said "Screen 8 for Clarks Eleven." Bless him and his lack of knowledge about Kevin Smith. Mind you, noone at work had heard of it either, bunch of un-cultured swines. It's people like that who are responsible for programmes like 'Robin Hood' being made. Thank god for the impending return of Futurama. My sanity is in need of saving. By a robot and a pizza delivery boy. Told you. Random.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Well finally I have managed to get back on here! This is starting to annoy me!! Have been trying to blog since last Friday but no, Blogger decided otherwise. I'm still convinced it's a Mac attack >:0( What pissed me off more though was one of my 'friends' saying, "You can get Windows stuff for Macs now you know, Office, IE and all that, maybe that will help." Er no!!! If I wanted Windows I wouldn't have a Mac, it's crap!! It's not even the PC I object to, as Linux is a triumph on one, it's Windows. I'm just ranting now, I'm not going to have a PC/Mac debate with myself, it's hard enough trying to avoid them with other people. Especially the ones who continue to send 'WMV' files with a "Watch this it's hilarious!" comment in the subject box. Anyway, I digress, basically I can't get on to it from work either, where unfortunately, Windows is everywhere. So that doesn't really prove my Mac attack point. Oh god. Confusion abound, this is all too random. I'm off whilst I'm still sane. Hopefully I can get on again soon when I have something to say that makes sense. As if that'll happen.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Warning, this post contains information of a sensitive nature

Today was interesting. Went to the doctors for some quite minor medication query, and I had to see a Nurse Practitioner as all the doctors' were booked. NPs are pretty much the same as doctors apparently, but not quite as qualified, and they probably earn a lot less. Anyways, she was very nice, but because I only recently registered and I hadn't had a routine check-up, she asked if I'd do one then. No problem, all was well, weight, height, do you smoke, all that kind of thing. Then she wanted to do some 'feminine' checks. What the hell I thought, the older one gets, the more used to doctors and nurses poking about in your bits one gets (it has just occurred to me how many men read my blog and are currently thinking, NO, I can't read this, I don't want to know! Fine, you were warned initially). I wouldn't normally divulge this kind of info without any good reason, but my good reason is that it was a comedy moment, and it would be selfish not to share. The first thing she said was "I'll pull the curtain round you, but shall I close the window?' I looked at the window, it was slightly ajar. "Is it very draughty on the examination bed?" I naively enquired. "Not at all," said she, "It's just in case you thought anyone was going to look or jump in." Look? Jump in? This disturbed me. "Does it happen a lot?" I asked, "Oh no," she laughed. What I probably should have said was, "Has this happened before? How many times?" because once I'd laid down I started to think how her response didn't necessarily mean that just because it hadn't happened for a couple of weeks, it wasn't going to happen today. So she was getting on with whatever it was she was doing, and then she said "I'm just going to insert the speculum." This, for those of you not in the know is a metal device that looks like a sort of gun, and is used for a more widescreen picture of your....ahem. Well, I've had this done before so I wasn't particularly bothered, but boy was she aggressive. She jabbed it in, kept twisting it around, and all I could do was lie there and think "Is this what having sex with Bender would be like?' Clearly my two days watching Futurama had not been in vain. I kept squirming due to her violent wielding of this evil instrument, and she said "Goodness love, keep still, you're nearly off the edge of the bed." "Well I'm just not used to this," I whimpered. "No, I don't suppose you are," she said. Don't suppose? What did she have to doubt? Does she think I do this all the time for fun? Maybe it's common in that neck of the woods for people to bring their own. A bit like when you go ice skating or bowling. There's always someone who has 'brought their own.' Anyway, it was finally over, but I was so conscious of keeping my eye on the window that I put my jeans on backwards, which then made me think of 'Spaceballs', where the president gets beamed somewhere and ends up with half his body the other way round. He grabs his arse and says "Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was this big?" This in turn made me laugh, so I then had to pretend I was coughing, as I didn't want her to think I was deranged. Anyways, she wrote me a prescription for the reason I'd gone in the first place, and off I went, feeling violated and amused. There's not many days when you feel like that, now you see why I had to share it. When I got home, my Sainsbury's order arrived, and the delivery man proudly told me how everything was exactly how I'd ordered it, no substitutions or anything. So then I felt surprised. Violated, amused, surprised. Interesting. I should do this more often.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

There can be only one

I can't believe it's Tuesday evening already, this week seems to be going a lot quicker than last. We did indeed go for a walk on Saturday, through the big field behind our house, but we had to stop when we got to a footpath blocked by cows. Working in the dairy industry (and the company responsible for those evil cows that want their milk back), I know better than to a aggravate a bovine, so we turned back. It's not that they're aggressive, but they can crush you without realising, never good. On Sunday we went to this shoppingy place with a Habitat and Heals, which was pretty good, but we didn't see anything we wanted to purchase. We were ripped off royally in the cafe thing there though, they charged £18.35 for two sandwiches and a couple of pomegrenate juices!!! It's not often I think to myself, 'It's cheaper in Starbucks.' It was nice, but still. Yesterday, I went to see my highly entertaining niece, and was set upon by the hounds as soon as I got in. I say hounds, they're tiny little white Maltese lap dog thingys. They're lovely and cute, but rather excitable, so I now have a huge claw mark running down the top of my chest. That'll teach me to wear a low cut trendy top. I look like some kind of fetishist. Or S&M superstar. Then Biz kept dropping books on my feet, so now I can't wear any nice shoes until the bruising has gone. Today I went to see my immortal Grandfather. The man has had four heart attacks, three strokes and a hip replacement. You wouldn't know to look at him, I have a feeling he's secretly a MacLeod. He'll outlive us all, he doesn't even lose conscienceness whilst all these strokes and attacks are going on. I hope I'm as strong. Though obviously there can be only one, so I'll have to cut his head off at some point. I'll leave it a bit, I haven't got much time for The Quickening at the moment. Though tomorrow, I am planning on having another Futurama Day. But I'm not giving that up for anything. His time will come, and all that. Tomorrow is cinema night, though I'm having the Will Ferrell Wiggins. I want to see the Ricky Bobby film, but I'm thinking of seeing something else because I have this Will Ferell Wiggins thing, where I start panicking that every film I see with him in is going to be as bad as Anchorman was. I might have to re-consider. Clerks 2 is on next week's agenda, cos we have to watch the first one again before we go, which doesn't leave much. Maybe that Queen film. It's supposed to be brilliant, but I'm not sure how much I want to see a film about the Queen. Still, a good film about Her Maj is better than a bad film about racing. Hmmm.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

At last!!!

Well, hello again. I haven't been able to get on to my blog ALL week!!! It just wouldn't work!! But it wasn't a problem here cos everything else was working fine. Probably some kind of Anti-Mac attack, perhaps blogspot aren't fans. Punks. Anyhoo, it's working now! Have been off all this week which has been tremendous. It has mainly consisted of trips to Starbucks (or Starbuckets as my friend's son calls it, bless), shops (but not shopping as in clothes shopping, I HATE that), sleeping, lazing about, seeing some chums. I've also been ploughing through my Futurama boxed sets. There's something extremely satisfying about spending a whole day watching Futurama. It's all good really, and I'm still off next week, wahooo!!! Going to see my niece on Monday, looking forward to that, she always provides valid entertainment. Speaking of which, went to see The Black Dahlia on Wednesday afternoon. RUBBISH!! Completely in-valid entertainment. I think the most annoying thing (aside from Hilary Swank), was that it wasn't really even about the Black Dahlia murder, which is just bizarre! It seemed to be a sub-sub-plot to a load of other crap, which was nonsensical and stoopid. In short, don't bother. But this week, we're seeing the Ricky Bobby film, which I'm hoping will be super, and then it's Clerks 2 the week after, which surely can't fail!!! Right, I'm off, going for a walk or something. Can't remember, maybe it's lunch time? Who knows.


Sunday, September 17, 2006

Regrets, I've had a few....

Today, I have mostly been regretting my rip-off hair. As good as it looks, I can't stop thinking about what I could have spent £77.50 on instead. The Howling Bells CD I've wanted for ages, the new Imogen Heap album, the Burn In Silence one, not just CDs though, new trainers, have needed some of those since about June. Tickets to Lacuna Coil in October, or the Russell Brand gig in November. Sigh. Damn my relentless quest for dark hair, it'll be blonde again in a week. I am such a fool.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Home Shopping

It's been another busy week, but thankfully I'm now off for a fortnight, yay!!! The weather has been rather dramatic of late, and on Thursday, the traffic was so bad it took us an hour to get to Sainsbury's. When we got there, it was closed due to flooding!! How random! It's a mahoossive store, how can they be so un-prepared for a bit of rain??!!! Consequently, we decided to have a go at online shopping. Much easier, arrived today, job's a good 'un. So we're just going to do that from now on. Yes it's lazy, but who cares, I AM lazy. Today, I went to get my hair done at the local hair dressers. Very nice inside, very nice people, very nice what they've done with my hair, very frikkin EXPENSIVE!!!!! £77.50 for a colour and cut!!! That'll teach me. I could have had some Vans for that, RUBBISH. Oh well, at least my hair looks kickin. Yesterday we had Rainbow Day at work, which was pretty cool, but nowhere near as big an event as Rod Hull Day. There was as much food, though a wider variety of E numbers this time, but because everyone has been so busy this week, and because we were STILL busy yesterday, it was rather understated. Nevertheless, it was good, and I got to eat Maoams. Tonight, Hefty and are going to eat chicken goujons with beans and mash for dinner. Not terribly gourmet, but we rather fancied it. Then we'll watch Jeepers Creepers whilst scoffing Butterkist. Mmmmmm. Tomorrow, his folks are coming up to see us, so really, we should have spent the day tidying. Wish I had too, could have saved my self £77.50.

Monday, September 11, 2006


Not one single close up of Nettles's talons last night. Tres disappointing. Severe lack of clues though, maybe next week he'll pick up picture frames and bits of paper like he usually does. It's always the same, when you're looking for it, it aint there.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

18 Times

According to iTunes, I have played 'Dirty' by KORN 18 times in the past couple of weeks. How can this be? I thought I'd listened a couple of times but that seems excessive. So I decided to see what else I've been obsessively hearing and discovered that the artists breaking into double figures are:

Kidney Thieves
KORN (again)
Lacuna Coil

Is it possible to play all this stuff all the time and not even notice? Clearly I am some kind of moron. The only explanation I can think of is that I have them on a playlist, on repeat, and have muted my Mac for some reason or other and not bothered to un-mute it. They might have been playing on a loop for hours. Then again, I have just realised that I am currently listening to 'Dirty' AGAIN as I write this. So I guess I am just a moron. Oh well.
Today Hefty and I went into my work so I could do some stuff. He sat and watched The Sopranos whilst I crunched numbers and filed things. The security guard who was in today is called Louis Bonaparte, which I just think is the best name ever. For a security guard anyway. He's bound to lead some kind of Security Revolution with a name like that. We got home about an hour ago now and I feel ready to go to sleep! I had the worst night's sleep ever last night though, so it's unsurprising really. Ironically, our fancy new Habitat bed arrived yesterday, which looks proper bo. I don't think the bed is the reason I ached and woke up all sweaty though. I think it's cos we cleaned, tidied and moved stuff all day yesterday, not something I'm accustomed to. We then watched 'The Fifth Element' on laserdisc . It was tres entertaining, but tonight is Midsomer Murders night, compulsive viewing in the Mr and Mrs Pandah household. Nettles is a triumph, and has the longest fingernails ever!! Long fingernails on men are SOOOOOO Un-attractive. But as Nettles's are also yellow, it's a real horror-treat when you see them. In fact, they become more important than the murders as time goes on. I shall keep you informed as to how many times we see them tonight. Interestingly, when you Google 'long fingernails', page 2 features 'Busty whore with long fingernails' (self-explanatory), and 'long fingernails and more!' (far from self-explanatory). Here's a tip, try not to have SafeSearch on for the latter image. And if you want a bit more excitment in your life, there's always The Story of Vivian's Nails.
Well, I'm off now, got to compile a tally chart for tonight. Come on Nettles, make me proud.

The end is nigh

Today, I'm going into work again. Thankfully, I know that after this week I am on holiday for a fortnight, leaving someone else to work themself to death so they can charge people for milk. It's all sunny here, Hefty is mowing the lawn, and I'd rather be watching the DVD I got free with Metal Hammer, but, such is life. I shall attempt to write a proper entry when I return, which will hopefully be long before Midsomer Murders commences at 0900hrs. West Ham are playing Aston Villa today, I have no idea which way it will go. Or who is playing. Not sure our star signings will be on the pitch, but I guess we'll see. For now, I need more coffee, so I can psyche myself up for invoicing. And maybe a sammich.

Friday, September 08, 2006


Yes I know I haven't blogged since Monday. I've been at work the whole goddamm time. I'm still at work now!! I will I will I will. If I can ever get these bloody invoices settled.


Monday, September 04, 2006

Darth Power

I am so busy at work I may die. I got in before 8am this morning, left at 6.30pm, and after I've written this, will spend the rest of the evening doing some more!!! I hate month end!! It's no fun when you work in accounts.
Anyhoo, as I'm on a limited amount of time (gotta get back to the grindstone), here is the story of my car crash. I should point out that it's probably not THAT exciting (sorry pawpads, hope you're not too disappointed!), but it was more interesting than if it hadn't happened. Ahem. So, Hefty and I were on our way back from work, and needed to go to Sainsbury's. So we pulled into the car park (which is mahoossive) and drove around to get to the bit where we normally like to park (am I the only person who always tries to park in the same place at supermarkets?!). It was absolutley chucking it down and there were big pools of water everywhere, it was just like Jurassic Park. I turned a corner, not particularly fast, but suddenly, the back end of my car span out, and we rotated like a professional ice-skater, before flying up a kerb (a la Bullitt) and landing in some shrubbery and a tree! Holy moly!! All that crap they feed you about steering into stuff, who has time to think about that shit??? It happened so fast!!! And at that point, it was even more like Jurassic Park, except that we weren't actually IN the tree, just sort of next to it. The adrenalin kicked in and I couldn't move my legs!!! What kind of damage had I done to my car!!! As I couldn't move, Hefty got out to examine the vehicle......UNLIKE Jurassic Park, there was no damage at all!! WTF?!! I do have a big, black 4WD whom I lovingly refer to as Darth, because he's, well, big and black, but also the console and CD player light up red inside which is particularly Vadery. Hefty did discover that upon hitting the tree, the aerial had snapped off, but that won't be difficult or expensive to replace. Unbelievable!! Then, this dude on a motorbike turned up and said "How did you get in there?" I wasn't in the mood!! CLEARLY it wasn't deliberate!!!! I felt like growling "There is no escape, don't make me destroy you...." Punk ass mofo. Anyway, thanks to Darth Power, we were able to reverse out of the bushes quite easily, but we'd made a bit of a mess!! I was kind of scared to get back in after we'd done the shopping, but as Hefty can't drive, I had to overcome my fear and get on with it! Luckily, the force was strong with me, and we made it home alive.....if you only knew, the power of the dark side....
So that was it. Dramatic, scary, but not THAT exciting. At least there was no damage (apart from the aerial). So there you go. I REALLY have to go now, I have so much number crunching to do and my brain already hurts!


Sunday, September 03, 2006


Tonight, I was going to update me blog with the week's events. I've been too busy thus far, but had set aside some special 'iP' time. Then, would you Adam and Eve it, we had a bloody power cut. So now you'll have to wait, cos I need sleep now. Gotta be up early as it's going to be the week from hell at work due to everyone in the world being on holiday. Gutted. I had a car crash on Thursday though, so if nothing else, there'll be adventure, excitment, and a little drama. Speaking of which, Ford starts his teacher training course tomorrow. Good luck dude!! It's not too late, you can still turn back........... ;0)
Well, I've taken some Nytol, and am going to listen to the Mighty Boosh to go to sleep. Should produce an interesting dream or two. Ciao for now chaps.


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ill and Illerer

Illerer may not be a real word, but when Ls and Is look the same on a computer, it makes for a good optical illusion. Albeit a boring one. Anyhoo, I am poorly AGAIN! This time, I have my boss to thank for the lurgey. Living opposite her and working with her clearly has more cons than pros. This time it's a cold, and though it hasn't yet properly developed and I am trying to Benylin it away, I still feel shite. So I'm going to go to bed and fall asleep to the mindless rubbish they put on these days. Hefty made bangers and mash for dinner - fantabulous, but I'm still trying to eat it, cos even though I'm full and fullerer, I can't bear to see potato go to waste. If it kills me I'll finish it. He is doing some website work, preparing for winter - a good time for muscular supplements consumption. So I'm on me tod on the top floor, whilst he Photoshops away on floor G. Tomorrow we're going to see 'A Scanner Darkly', or 'Lady in the Water.' Thank Heaven's for Orange Wednesdays!! Then if it's crap, you've only really paid 3 punds each, which aint so bad. West Ham lost at the weekend. Useless, but it was Liverpool, our nemesis'ssss or whatever. One day, one fine day.....Anyway, I'm not going to rant, I'm off to bed. I'd love a cup of tea to take with me, but I can't be arsed to make it. Being ill sucks. Not that I can usually be bothered when I'm well.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Lego Ford

This is what Ford would look like if he were made out of Lego. Sort of. If you only had a limited number of Lego bits to play with.

Saturday, August 26, 2006


Apologies for this being so late to arrive. I did it when I did the others but I had attempted to put a picture of Ford on here (made out of Lego that is), but Blogger was having none of it, so I'll have to convert the file and put it on when I do the other pics. Anyways, Thursday was Ford's last day. Ming and I bought him some gifts that looked good in the shop, but when we gave them to him looked a bit crappy. He's leaving to become a maths teacher, so we got him a 'My First Book of Numbers' and a plastic apple for his desk. He seemed pleased enough. Well at least he can think of us when he's sat at his desk I suppose. Later on, we all went out for a meal to a fancy Italian restaurant that looked slightly 70s, but in a good way. Ming and I arrived first, not sure how, we left after everybody else and went the wrong way, so were completely late. But we sat in exotic leather armchairs sipping Coke and J20s whilst we waited for the rest of IT to arrive. When they all turned up, we sat down and ate. The food was pretty good, I ate Thai Fishcakes (a popular Italian dish), Steak with Parma Ham and Dolcelatte cheese, and this caramel pudding thing, which was pretty good, but came with a dubious sauce. Arkwright asked if he could finish my sauce off so i let him. He hadn't seen me sneeze on it (by accident), but everyone else did, and he seemed to think they were laughing because he was eating left-overs. Oh well, ignorance is bliss ey. Then we vacated the place and headed to a funky bar full of leather sofas and games. The numbers slowly dwindled, and in the end it was just me, Ming and Ford, which is how it should be really. I couldn't tell you what we talked about all evening, but we had a super time. Then we left, which was very sad, and I didn't know what to say or do, which was all a bit awkward. I couldn't walk too well at that point either, as my shoes were killing me, so I looked drunk. We said our goodbyes and hobbled away back to the car park. I have to change shoes to drive, possibly because my feet are huge, who knows, but I couldn't get my trainers on cos my feet were all swollen. I forced them on, and got home at about half one. I was pretty tired the next day, believe me. And I felt strange. And still do.


Motherfuckin' Snakes

Aw man, SOAP, as it is now being referred to, is AWESOME!! It's a long time since I have been THAT entertained by a film!!! It's on a completely different level and it rocks!! Think Evil Dead on a plane, with Samuel L, and some snakes. What's not to love!!!!! You have to go and see it people, for the snake attacks alone, they are a stroke of genius. It's a bit hard to describe without giving anything away, but suffice to say, it's tremendous in a ridiculous and naff way. Plus, you get to shout "SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!" every time you refer to it. Well, that's what I do.


It was all a bit of a rush, but I finally finished Jeremy off. I have pictures, and PROMISE to put them on here this weekend. Ford pointed out that I always say I'm going to put pictures up and never do, and he's right. It's mainly cos we haven't really sorted out the study properly yet, so I tend to blog on my iBook in the lounge, but I am going to make a valiant effort to put up pictures of Original Rod Hull Day, the Pandah footstool, and Jeremy. And whatever I else I should have put up there. Oh, perhaps stuff from Chester Zoo. Anyway though, Jeremy is completed, and I managed to get him into work and present him to Ford (who returned to work for a couple of hours). He seemed very impressed, though he couldn't take it home with him because he had to get the train back to some obscure town in Lincolnshire (?), and it was a bit too big. BUT, he took photos, and we decided to give him to my friend's son Dazzle, who loves Dinosaurs. So all was well, except that for the rest of the day, I had the theme tune from 'Denver the Last Dinosaur' in my head - tres annoying. Mentioning it again has reactivated the memory too, so now I'm hearing it all over again. Joy.


I have been soooooo busy of late, that rather than write one mahoossive piece, I'm going to split my adventures into sub-sections. So here we go.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Last night, I dreamt that somebody tattooed the face of Nigel Havers on my inner left thigh. This is without Nytol. Why.
On the plus side, tonight we see SNAKES ON A PLANE!! Hopefully this will give me action-packed dreams of adventure and intrigue. Instead of Nigel. Havers?!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Tonight, painting began on the dinosaur. Unfortunately, I have now run out of green paint, as I think I used most of it when I made Peroni, so tomorrow I'll have to get more. Time is tight, as I'll have to come home, paint him, go to see SNAKES ON A PLANE! then come home and fix his teeth, tongue and arms on. Oh the pressure, Ford had better be impressed, this has been my most detailed project to date, on the tightest deadline. He looks good though. Kind of like that dinosaur in Toy Story. I've called him Jeremy, as I made his hands out of pipe-cleaners, and one is slightly bigger than the other. By calling him this though, I feel obliged to tie a neck-kerchief round his neck (funnily enough), and perhaps give him a small teddy bear named Aloysius, a la Brideshead Revisited. Alas, I don't have that kind of time......
Ford's leaving bash is on Thursday night, and we are now going to a really NOISY Italian restaurant, which is in/on/under some arches. Dark ones. Or something. Should be interesting, Arkwright is going (remember him? He threw a massive hissy fit after I blogged him in April, and fell out with me. So I apologised and we kind of made up, but then I managed to upset him over something else, so it's pretty much just pleasantries currently. He doesn't read this though so no harm mentioning him now I reckon!!), so yes Arkwright will be going, and I'm keen to see if he'll just order a starter and make it last the whole evening. Then make his wife pay for it. At least she's going, she can stop any more arguments should they occur. I'll be sat next to Ming, but who else I don't yet know. I'd like to think inbetween Ming and Ford, my safety zone, but no doubt I'll get sat next to Arkwright, or the other weirdo in IT that nobody likes. We'll see. Should be good. I hope. Please.
I can't post pictures on here at the moment, possibly because we're STILL on dial-up!! I'm not sure what's worse; having no internet or being on dial-up. Ironically, the ISP we're using is the one Hefty works for, and they still can't get it right. Messed something up on our order because were previously on a trial-period of 20Mb or something ridiculous, and they thought we were just 'not doing that anymore' so they didn't move it over. I can't take much more, it's making blogging a chore. I keep posting duplicate comments on other peoples' blogs, and as I say, images are a no go. Boo, I wanted to put a pic of Jeremy up. Let's hope we get broadband back soon. It'll probably be at about 2Mb or something, which is crap if you're used to 20 (I actually think it was 12Mb, but 20 sounds better).
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed, as I have now been listening to BBC7 for about 5 hours, and have started talking like I'm in a play. Not good. Dear friends. Nay.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Carbine Rifle

Blimey Charlie, didn't realise how long it was since I last blogged! I must have been busy. Ummmm....well, at the weekend I went to see my parents' new house, which was very exciting. Mostly it was exciting because whilst I was there, they gave me a corned beef and cheese sandwich. And some pomegranate juice. Then I went to see my sister who gave me freshly baked cake. It was all good. My sister makes everything from scratch, as she's fearful of the effects processed foods might have on herself, husband, and of course, Biz. Oh, and the dogs. So she makes EVERYTHING, and let me tell you, it tastes GOOD :0)
Biz was on top form, now that she's kind of speaking and tottering around, she's tres entertaining. She went straight for my cake when I sat down so I had to beat her slightly, but she recovered well. As I was uber ill and missed her party, I was dropping her presents off (better late than never!), and she seemed to like them. I'd got some maracas, a musically farmy noisy pressy shapey thing, and some books. Naturally, the wrapping paper was more interesting than any of these items, though she warmed to the maracas, and decided that pressing the cat button repeatedly was also fun (I guess she doesn't get to hear enough miaows at the moment). Then I went back home, got ready, and went out for dinner with my friend/boss/neighbour L. Hefty went also, as did B, L's chap, and Dazzle, their son, who is cool, and loves Hefty. The food was good, the service was bad, but we managed to make it out in time to see Cars, which was alright. At first I thought it was strange and didn't know where it was going, then it was kinda gay in the middle I mean, car romance? What's the point? It's not like they can shag. Then it redeemed itself at the end with some pretty good Pixar spoofy things which I can't really explain, you'd just have to see them. So I didn't mind it, certainly in comparison to the Incredibles, which I was bored by, and Finding Nemo which depressed me. I'm still liking Toy Story the best out of that lot. Monsters Inc would have been better without the kid.
So that's that. This week though will be fan dabby dozy, as we're off to see SNAKES ON A PLANE! I can't wait!! Samuel L on a plane, with snakes!! What could be better than that!!! Except for maybe the Carbine Rifle that I bought today for 2 squid from our local massive shop that sells everything. Local to work that is; Ming and I like to go there sometimes and buy cool stuff. We'd gone for craft materials for Ford's dinosaur, but discovered these wickedace rifles that make the best sound ever!! Hefty was well impressed when I went to pick him up, and he shot at people all the way home. Targeting chavs is our new hobby, it really is good for the soul to pretend you've shot one. The only problem is, as we only have one, there's more fighting about whose go it is than there is actual shooting, so I'm going to have to get another so we can chase each other round the house. It's a good house for a shoot-out, lots of banisters and doorways. Anyhoo, gotta go, got a dinosoar to finish building.

Over and out.

PS. I had a radical pic of Samuel and a snake to put on here, but Blogger isn't playing tonight so it'll have to wait til I've seen the ruddy film.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Blonde is bad

Aw man, I really want to die my hair black, or at the very least, dark brown, but as I'm naturally blonde (and light blonde at that, I could never get away with calling myself a brunette), I'm pretty much screwed. I've been researching the concept on t'internet, and apparently, it'll either go grey, or it will take but then fade to grey, and when my roots come through I'll look like I'm also going grey from the inside. What's the point!! I recently went a sort of brownish colour, light, but still brownish, and I thought it looked kinda cool. But, it faded back to blonde within about two weeks. Why can't they invent a pill so you can grow your hair colour of choice? That would be so cool. How is it they can clone sheep and vital organs, but they can't make hair. Scientific cretins. Do something useful, I don't NEED two sheep that look the same, or a mouse with an ear on its back (can it hear out of that by the way?), but I do need to look more rocky and less Page 3-y.

On a lighter note, Ming is trying to give me a new friend at work. I call him Mr Miaow, as it sort of sounds like his real name, and sort of makes him sound like some kind of crazed assassin, which he may well be. Ming is trying to teach him about building animals and general sheer madness. Oh, and he also gave him this kids book about a super hero cow to read, as he thought it might persuade him to befriend me. It's my book, but it's the kind of thing I lend to people who are already my friends. It's prolly not a good way to get him on board. Then again, there is a distinct possibility that he is even loopier than us, so who knows.

Well, I need to brush my hair now, as it's wet, and too curly for words. It needs drying and ironing.

Ciao for now.

Curly blonde iP

PS. Did you know, having curly blonde hair makes you more suceptible to Bronchitis? According to Ming anyway.

Tasting the Rainbow again

There is one good thing about Ford's absence, there are now plenty of Skittles in the building. However, today, whereas I usually filter out all the purple ones cos they taste like Tunes or something, one slipped through the net and I ate it. Gross! I'm considering building a collection of them and sending them back to their manufacturers, with a note saying 'Sort these out, they taste shite.' Not sure what good it would do, but my friend Jaffa (real name) had a penchant for Jaffa cakes, and he once got some defective ones. So I sent them back with a letter (pretending to be him) that was all about how he loved Jaffa Cakes because they had the same name and stuff, and they sent back money off vouchers. We were hoping for a case of 250 or something, but I suppose it was better than nothing.

Went to see Pirates 2 last night. No where near as phenomenal as Superman, but it was pretty good. We're off to see Cars on Saturday night, against Ford's advice, so I'll let you know my views on the matter.

The antibiotics for my Bronchitis are making me ridiculously hungry, so at the moment, all I can do is eat or I feel really sick. It's a pain in the ass, I'll be like a house at this rate!

Need materials for the dinosaur, it's not going well, we don't have much, I'll have to procure some more bulky materials. Oh the pressure.

Is it home-time yet?

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Return of the Oddie

Well, not content with producing his own milk, it would seem that Bill Oddie and his chums are back!! Return of the Goodies is currently showing on BBC2. From what I can guage though, it's not a new series, it's a programme about them, which is slightly disappointing. Course, I'm not that disappointed, or I wouldn't be listening to Lacuna Coil's 'Coma Lies' and blogging at the same time, but I thought it was worth a mention. I'm not sure why. I must be one of the only people who thought the original show was amusing. I've only seen repeats I hasten to add, I'm not old enough to have watched it the first time round!! Anyhoo, I have developed a new found interest in Bill Oddie (along with Rod Hull of course), so I feel the need to refer to him now and then.
Moving on, today I relented and dragged myself to the doctors. Living in a small village is great, cos I was the only person in the waiting room, and when I went into the pharmacy afterwards (which is only small) there were seven members of staff and me. You get bloody good service!! Anyway, apparently I have Bronchitis, which produced gasps from my mother and sister when I broke it to them later, but is actually quite common. So I'm on antibiotics, which is all very exciting, as I have to take them four times a day. That's quite a commitment for an 'anti' person like me. The last thing I committed to was marriage, so this may take some getting used to. If it means I can breathe though I suppose it's worth it!!! I'm hoping they'll eradicate my mother of all ulcers too, as it's starting to really piss me off. I shall have to give it a name soon, it could be a repeat of 'How to Get Ahead in Advertising.' I'm getting sick of being off though, it's boring. There's only so much 'Cash in the Attic' and '60 Minute Makeover' I can take. There was a Powerbook on the latter programme today though, so it was worth it for that alone. 'Diagnosis Murder' is always good, and today's was no exception, but nevertheless, I need human contact. I have to regularly empty the random contents of my head to a willing (or unwilling) audience, or it sends me mental.
Speaking of which, the Goodies are now singing 'Do the Funky Gibbon.' Cool.
So that's me for today, not a great deal to report. I'm off to do a bit more coughing.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Gone but not forgotten

Today has not been great, I got into work, still feeling ill, to discover that Ford is now on garden leave until his official last day. Ming and I are feeling a little lost without him, though obviously Ming would never admit to that, but as I'm saying it that's okay because as a woman, I'm allowed to be emotional about it. Anyway, he's gone, so we won't see him again until his leaving bash on the 24th. He was in the process of collecting materials to build a dinosaur, so I am going to build a wickedace one to give him as a leaving present. It's very odd though. When you're used to speaking to someone all day, and then suddenly they're gone, it's really kind of depressing. Though I'm sure he's more than happy to get paid for being at home!! Oh well, at least we still get to say goodbye in a couple of weeks.


Sunday, August 13, 2006

Happy Birthday Rod!

Today dear readers, is Rod Hull's birthday! Or at least it would have been, if he hadn't been so cruelly taken from us all those years ago. He would have been 71, a fine age, and an age that still seems too young had he died this year. Anyway, I would like to congratulate Rod, who we can only hope, is up there celebrating in the great Pink Windmill in the sky.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Hidden talents

Today I made the foolish decision to go back to work. I wasn't well, I felt worse, now I'm back to square one. And all because I couldn't resist a pink french fancy and chocolate-free Hob-Nobs. I'd like to say they were worth it, but I still have bits of Hob-Nob stuck in my teeth that are refusing to shift, and I decided to thank Ford for the pinky goodness by emailing him in French. It basically said, "Thank you very much for the french fancy, it was delicious and very pink. You are very generous Mr Ford. Your grateful friend, iPandah." Le mistake grande. He hasn't spoken to me since :0( That'll teach me to be clever. Luckily, Ming IS still speaking to me, not that he has any reason not to, and we spent the rest of the afternoon marvelling over the lovely Debbie McGee's Models website. Yes, THAT Debbie McGee. She has models. It's quite possibly the most random selection of people ever, and they're all doing 'Shazam' style poses. I'd give you the link, but for some reason, all the links I've tried to add recently don't work due to some Blogger server problem. Boo. Anyway, just Google 'Debbie McGee's Models' and I'm sure you'll come up trumps.
Later on in the afternoon, my big boss Mr H came to have a chat with us little people. We discussed the recent departure of the Milk-Powder and Ingredients Manager (she basically never came back after the last pay day - not a word to anyone), and how not only was she rubbish at her job, but nobody liked her anyway because she was an over-bearing, opinionated loud-mouth who swore too much and probably breathed flames when no-one was looking. He then wanted to discuss the triumph that was, Original Rod Hull Day. He thought it was marvellous that something so simple had brought so many people together, and declared that I clearly had 'hidden talents' that needed to be 'exploited further.' Indeed Mr H. Sod HR and their 'Team-Building' excercises. Forcing folk to congregate into groups of people they'd never normally fraternize with, so they can make mobile-phone holders out of plastic cups and pipe cleaners is NOT the way to go. You need to pick something ridiculous that everyone can relate to. Like Rod Hull. Everyone wears a bit of pink, we all eat pink food, Bob's your uncle Fanny's your aunt. It's not rocket science. So, upon hearing the news that I am basically a mofo-genius, I decided to test his reaction to the next theme day I have in mind, Rainbow Day. We get to wear a plethora of different colours, consume a much wider variety of E numbers, and all in the name of Zippy, George and Bungle. He LOVED it. Therefore, my plans for said event can be much bolder, now that I have the support of upper management.
Y'know, I could probably market this shit to companies everywhere and make a fortune. If I could be bothered. Which I can't. Yet. Maybe one day. If there's enough Hob-Nobs in it.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The plague and being Supergirl

Well, I have convinced myself I have the plague. My throat kills, I'm now sneezing, my ears have gone funny and my right eye is unusually and continuously wet. I keep having funny outbreaks of rashdom, it's all a bit dubious. Not sure what the symptoms of the plague are, but I'm pretty sure they involve sneezing and rashes.
Anyhoo, I have been in bed all morning, apart from when I went to make myself a cup of tea, which turned out to be the best cup of tea I have ever made for myself. I have watched Batman Begins for the 8th time, and snoozed a bit. I have also decided that when I have my son (in a couple of years), his middle name will be 'DC', in tribute to the fine creators of Superman and Batman. His first name will be Max, as a tribute to 'Macs' of course, so all in all, he's going to be a pretty cool dudester. Hefty has agreed to my idea, so that's one less thing to think about when we do eventually decide to produce the little guy.
I might go and make another fine cup of tea, I'm concerned about getting bed sores from all this lounging around. Interestingly enough though, I have discovered that Supergirl (the original comic one) and I are clones, except that I am yet to get the outfit. I found the doll on play.com and was taken aback by the startling resemblance (see picture at top - obviously). I'm going to have to order her, as I'm truly excited about this coincidence. I might write to DC and ask them if they'd like a real-life Supergirl for promotional appearences and stuff. Then they might make a film! A good one! Wow, this is tremendous news for me, I might have finally found something I want to do!

Where's me pen? I've got a letter to write.....

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Well, after the success of Original Rod Hull Day, and a busy weekend, I have succumbed to some kind of horrible virus. I say virus, it might not be, but I'm using that word cos it sounds better. I have an uber sore throat, my whole mouth is covered in red! My throat, tonsils, and clacker thing, all red. I went to work, despite having no voice, but had to give up and go home. I have been in bed ever since, consuming white Magnums (I'm allergic to chocolate, except white), Strepsils, and a cheese sammich. I'm now hankering for a cup of tea, but Diagnosis Murder is on and it's addictive. I've just been informed by Ming that Ford bought Fondant Fancies today. If only I'd hung on, one of those would have greatly complimented my cup of tea. But, I haven't much of an appetite, I'm just trying to clear my throat by moving food traffic through it. Plus, Ming doesn't reckon Ford would have given me one anyway, but I'm sure he would have. Not everyone is as tight with their goodies as Ming.

It was Biz's birthday yesterday, her 1st birthday! Very exciting!! Though it's her party on Saturday, and I'm worried I'll not be recovered enough to go :0( I hope I am, but I can't go to a baby party with a virus!!!

Oh well, time for a nap I guess, it all helps.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Original Rod Hull Day Part 3

Well, what a day. I can't believe it's over, the build-up was so intense. I can safely say it was a huge success!!! By around 3pm the whole of our building was aware of the celebration, and there's about 350 people altogether!! All the people who'd worn pink anyway (they didn't know cos they don't work on this floor), stopped by to join in the proceedings, and were rather glad to be part of all the fun!

Even though we all feel really sick, and it's possible I have no enamel left on my teeth, not to mention my pink face, possible rash (on my left cheek), and bastard headache, it really was worth it.

Bless you Rod, I only hope we did you justice.

Original Rod Hull Day Part 2

I feel sick, very sick, and for some reason, all of our faces have gone a funny shade of pink. Scary.

I may never be able to look at pink again.

Happy Original Rod Hull Day!

Well, the big day has finally arrived and it's going well so far!! Everyone (apart from the miserable bastards with no sense of humour) is wearing pink, and we have gathered a large selection of pink goods together. I made some special buns, and iced them in pink with a variety of Rod/Emu/Pink Windmill designs. We have strawberry Nesquik, raspberry ripple drink (JT had some and now feels sick, think we might avoid that one), prawn cocktail crisps, pink marshmallows, pink shrimps, pink toadstools, pink sticky buns, pink marshmallow biscuits, and Bill Oddie milk, just for effect. Bill Oddie's White and Wild milk, to be exact. We have managed to steal a pink cow from reception, and Terry from the canteen upstairs has very kindly agreed to make pink custard for us. Ming is NOT wearing pink, but he did send me a behemoth picture of Rod via internal mail, Ford IS wearing pink cos he's clever and stuff, and we're having a one minute silence in honour of Rod at 11.00am.

It's going good folks, and I shall keep you up to date as events unfold. I'm also taking photos, which I wll attempt to put on here as soon as I get my internet back (4 days - yay!).

Keep on Rodding.

Pink iP

Monday, July 31, 2006

Burning the midnight oil

So tonight I am sat at Hefty's place of work, as something has gone majorly wrong at....erm, his place of work. It's all very exciting, being a Network Engineer is clearly a spectacular thing to be. So far, we have hunted for bits of paper to try and work out why things have gone wrong. Wahoo! I don't know what's going on, but it beats my missing the end of 'The New Adventures of Superman,' not.

So whilst he does his networky stuff, I thought I would do a little more research into Rod, given that Rod Hull Day, which I am now changing to, 'The Original Rod Hull Day' inspired by a comment from my blogbuddy skillz, is only three and a bit days away.

So, firstly, upon the heightened success of Peroni, I have taken the bold step of deciding to construct my own Emu, in time for the big day. I am currently going to search the offices of Hefty's HQ to see what materials I can find......

....Well that was fruitless. I found nothing of use at all, but I did find some bananas (not entirely fruitless then), so I might take a few...I also found a developer, who showed me his fish and his cans of Spam. He has one that's best before date was 2005, and one that's 2008. He's going to eat them both together at some point to see if casked Spam is better than new.

On the plus side, I have found a fabulous website that sells Rod Hull merch Rod Shop which is all too tempting when you've become as obsessed as I have with Mr Hull.

Ooh, pizza is being ordered, looks like it's going to be a late one. I've ordered Ham and Pineapple, in honour of Rod. Cos it's pink. And a bit yellow.


You are always on my mind

Well, after muchos chat and discussion about Rod Hull Day, it finally happened, I dreamt about him. Without the aid of Nytol though, so now I don't know whether to take it or not! But, the dream involved me being at a theme park, and discovering a ride called Ride with Rod! You basically got into this pink spaceship which went up and down, and Rod was in there with you. No emu, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Developments are in progress for RHD, and we have now decided on some food items (pink of course) to bring in. Fondant Fancies, pink wafers, marshmallows, Battenberg cake (we'll eat the yellow bits on Thursday), candy shrimps, ham, and Strawberry Nesquik to drink. Hefty bought me a pink caefetiere in honour of the occasion too, so we can decant the Nesquik out of it, as I haven't yet figured out a way to make pink coffee.

Ming is back this week, and now Ford's on holiday!! Chaos all round. Anyhoo, it's good to have Ming back, though Ford did a sterling job filling in for him whilst he was away. Ford is leaving soon, so it's a good job Ming's my best friend or I'd be all alone here :0( Hopefully Ford will keep in touch, but you never know with some people.....

On Saturday, I saw the freakiest scariest film EVER! Wolf Creek, I was so scared I could have cried. Don't watch it, EVER!

My sister came to visit on Saturday as well, bringing the Ginja Ninja that is my niece, Biz. She came in and went straight for the B&O tv!!! Had to stop her in her tracks, or Uncle Hefty would have had to beat her. She's 1 soon anyway, so is very entertaining at the mo. She left a big bite mark and my lovely Habitat sofa. Ginger punk.

Today I feel sick, not sure why, but could do with more sleep. And some cake.


Friday, July 28, 2006

Rod Hull Day

Next Friday (4th August) is Rod Hull Day, so to celebrate, me and my chums are going to eat pink food, and wear items of pink clothing. I may fashion a Peroni-esque Emu if I get chance, as it could really add to the overall atmosphere of the day. I shall reveal further plans as they unfold (and when I've made them up, clearly this is one of my creations), so you can all join in with the spirit of Rod. His birthday is actually on the 13th of August, but as that's a Sunday, it just wouldn't work now would it. Anyhoo, I'm looking forward to it big style!!

Ming? Yes, you can wear your Think Pink t-shirt, if anything, we could all do with one.


iPandah foot stool

As fabulous as our new house is, I have trouble reaching tall cupboards and windows, which is a tad annoying at times, especially if Hefty is on the X-Box and doesn't really want to take a trip to the next floor just to reach a box of food bags.
So, we have purchased a spectacular pandah footstool from Sainsburys!! It may be meant for children, but it's managing to take my weight so far, and I can't tell you how much easier our lives are because of it. I'll post a picture at some point, when the Internet finally arrives. But hooray for iPandah foot stools!! If only everything was so easy....

iP & foot stool

Good Nytol

So this week, because I have been sleeping incredibly badly, I invested in some Nytol. Let me tell you, the entertainment that has followed my pill-popping antics ALMOST makes up for not having the Internet. A series of weird and crazy dreams has ensued, and now, I can't stop taking the stuff, cos I can't wait to get dreaming of an evening!! The visionary delights I have experienced thus far are as follows:

Ford and I were in some snowy mountains eating apples with spaghetti, which was surprisingly tasty.

I acquired a small dog named 'Auckney', who could only be fed on a special type of gravel produced in the Gobi desert. I also dreamt that I wrote a magazine article about fat slag Britney Spears, who was the proud owner (in a trailer trash kind of way)of a white BMW with pink interior.

Last night, I dreamt I was in an old peoples' home version of Big Brother. I don't watch it but I'm pretty sure there are no pensioners in it, so that dream was totally messed up.

Tonight, Hefty and I are watching Spiderman 2, so who knows what will happen.

Sweet dreams y'all.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Bad day

I'm having a bad day today. Ming is on holiday for the rest of the week so I'm bored. And today there was no-one to go to lunch with so I've made myself even more depressed by just sitting here. I also have too much work to do because everything has gone wrong for every site I deal with this week, which is crap. Then I rang BT to book in this line thing and the soonest they can do is the 8th of August. As I am sleeping terribly at the moment I'm also really tired, so I'm currently feeling like a complete waste of space.

Which is why I'm venting on here.

Is it hometime yet?

Sad and lonely iPandah :0(