I am a unit

Okay, so I'm officially not on the 'Yakult' on account of it making me sick at the first mouthful. After some glowing recommendations (Pawpads, Sparky Malarkey) I'm willing to give Actimel a go, but I haven't got round to getting any yet, and I might have to wait until the trauma of Dr Shirota's haenous drink has worn off first.

On the plus side, Hefty has bought me a Cross Trainer. I've been going on about needing more excercise etc. for ages, so he bought me one!! Fab! Much better than the Yakult! It's a good one too, so once we've sorted the garage out (again) I can get on it and get fit!! I need to tone up for my best friend's wedding, which isn't til April 2008, but we go for the fittings (I'm a bridesmaid) in October, which gives me 8 months to turn myself into a supermodel. Plus, it's in Florida, so I need an athletic beach bod, rather than the Pilsbury Dough Boy physique I am currently portraying. I'm well looking forward to it though, it's gonna be a wickedace holiday with the added bonus of a wedding!! Not that I'm particularly fond of weddings, my own involved only 4 other people (2 witnesses, 2 friends), we simply got married and went out for dinner!! I'm not into epics, aside from the fact they're so expensive. But I am looking forward to this one, though there'll be no tannning (she is recovering from skin cancer after all!). I'm still plannning on slipping into an itsy bitsy teeny weeny though, so I HAVE to shape up!

I'm not amused by this rain, I have to go on a farm visit on Thursday :0( It had better wear off!!! Wading through cow muck is one thing, wading through wet cow muck is quite another! Not to mention the flies!!! The farm itself should be a blast though (cue geeky dairy moment), as it's robotic!! Basically, the cows all have tags, and they can wander in and out when they like. Each time they enter the milking parlour, they get scanned, and if they need milking, they get milked, if they've already been milked, they get food!! It's all very exciting!! Each tag is programmed for each cow, so the suckers are automated for each udder!! I know it's a bit sad to find this kind of thing interesting, but it beats a day in the office!

Anyways, I'm hungrier than hell, toddle oo!

Lactobacillus casei Shirota

Hefty nipped to the shop to pick up some ingredients for dinner and brought me a gift - Yakult. I have always wanted to try Yakult, but it's kind of expensive and I'm not convinced it will have any effect. Thanks Hefty!! I am most pleased with this gift, because if it does have some effect, we can get more, but if it doesn't, I can sleep soundly knowing that I didn't pay for it!! This might make me sound really tight, I'm not, I just don't take kindly to scams, so if I want to have a go at something that looks suspicious, it doesn't bother me half as much if it is a con, if I haven't had to pay for it. Does that make any kind of sense? Probably not. What kind of person won't take a gamble on a Probiotic drink I hear you cry. It bothers me too, I'm usually so impulsive, but 'friendly bacteria' is one area I can't bring myself to splash out on. Apologies. Anyway, I'll try it for a week, and see if it changes my life.

Here's hoping.

Dreams

Last night, I dreamt about Admiral Adama. He was in charge of the local leisure centre, and barred me for daring to suggest that the cleaners weren't doing their jobs properly. I'm not sure what I was doing in a leisure centre, it's not the kind of venue I would choose to frequent, but I kept trying to sneak back in so that I could get Seabrook crisps out of the vending machine. He nearly caught me several times, but luckily, I had pogo stick shoes on.

Hmm.

This was definitely on a par with the Nytol induced dream I had last July about that dog that could only eat a special type of gravel produced in the Gobi desert. But last July was pretty much the last time I took any Nytol so I have no excuse for this shift in time and space. It must be my sub-conscious mourning over series 3 of Battlestar Galactica. Because we cancelled Sky when we moved, we haven't seen it, and this upsets me. Thank god for DVD. Let's hope we acquire it soon.

So we didn't exactly up the ante this weekend. Hefty tidied the garage and I cleaned. A lot. Sometimes I get a bit manic about cleaning, but only sometimes. I have been reading lots more of 'If chins could kil: Confessions of a B movie actor' by Bruce Campell, which is the best book I've read in ages. It means I keep having to watch Evil Dead so I can tell amusing anecdotes as if I was there myself, but there are worse ways to spend your time. I am currently listening to a Dyson demo on QVC. This would qualify as a 'worse ways to spend your time' moments.

So after a week of doing not very much, it's back to work tomorrow. Though we're going to the dentist first. But I can't say I'm looking forward to it (work that is), because I'd rather got used to my long lie-ins and Channel 5 movies. Still, I have missed my comrades, so it'll be nice to see them again I guess. I'm supposed to be going to a farm some time this week. Not looking forward to that either, as I always come back smelling of cow shit. This is because everywhere you walk on a farm is covered in cow shit. And if it rains, I'll be covered in flies too. Sigh. Thank god I don't have to leave my desk for these soujourns very often, or I'd have to start re-considering my options.

Anyway, my dinner's nearly ready so I shall have to scoot.

Fare thee well fellow bloggers, be seeing you.

Off

Hefty and I have been off this week. I can't recall a thing we've done. Hmm.
I remember someone at work last Friday bringing in potted beef sandwiches for me to try, I refused and opted for a fancy M&S one instead. We came home and ate pie, mash, and cauliflower cheese with camembert.
On Saturday we had a Chinese whilst watching Dancing on Ice. I remember hating Claire Buckfield even more than usual, and being glad that that news woman got eliminated. Then we watched Primeval and I fell asleep. My folks came round on Sunday for lunch, which went very well, and then....erm...the rest is a blur. I do recall wanting a hamster and then realising that to get a decent cage (when I say decent, I mean one that looks like a space station) costs a fortune, and they actually require more effort than I anticipated. I know I've watched a lot of Channel 5 movies, and quite a few Columbos, and Hefty and I tried to sit through a Jeremy Kyle show, but it was too unbearable and we turned it off. I know we watched Evil Dead, and Batman Returns. Hmm. And The Undiscovered Country.

Today, we went to Cafe Rouge and ate us some good food. That's about it. So I guess I've done nothing with my week off. But that's a good thing. I slept a lot, rest is important, and learned valuable lessons from those Channel 5 films.
We bought some organic peanut butter as well, though we haven't tried it yet. And now I'm going to have cheese on toast and watch A Touch of Frost.

It's not very exciting is it. Sorry.

I'll try and up the ante (is that how you spell it?) this weekend.

iP

P.S Ooh ooh, Phillip Schofield has been on tv for 25 years!! That's quite exciting.

Getkhan

Today I learned that I have been missing out on what sounds like the best programme ever. BBC3 have created a show called 'Fat Men Can't Hunt,' which is about ditching a group of fat men and women in the desert, and making them fend for themselves like cave folk used to do. CURSES!!!! How could I have missed such an epic event? I'm going to attempt to download the series from t'interweb, I only hope it's as fabulous as it sounds.

Am uninspired today. Sat at work feeling kinda bored. Got stuff to do, just can't be bothered. It feels like it should be Friday, but it aint, so it's dragging all the more.

The Kahn guy has done a runner, I can't find him anywhere :0( I tried searching our address book for 'Kahn', hey, you never know, but all I found was some dude called Neil Getkhan. A good name, but it was not the droid I was looking for.

Thanks the stars I have a whole week off next week. I don't think I can cope with any more slow weeks like this. It's too dull for words.

Well I'm going to ring a farmer about something proposterous. Hope everyone else is having a more exciting day.

iP

That might be why Mums go, but I'm not interested

Today was an average day, and kind of random. I discovered that I have missed out on many things. They include:

Arctic roll
Going to Iceland (the shop)
Going to a Chinese All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Dumplings (with some kind of beefy substance)


This all started because up until last week, I had never had mushy peas. I don't like peas so why would I try them? SuperSaz had some with the fish and chips she ordered when we'd gone out for lunch, and she said I really should try them. I did, and they were pretty good, so every now and then we all end up having a discussion about things I've never eaten or done because I'm too posh. I have to say, though I may have been wrong about the peas, I don't much fancy trying arctic roll or going to Iceland. I am however, prepared to give the buffet and dumplings a go. It's very educational going to work sometimes, and I'm all up for trying new things (within reason).

Speaking of trying new things, one of my friends who works at a haulage company we use to move milk, is going travelling for three months, and her replacement is a malting nymphomaniac who can't speak. When I say can't speak, I mean she has that 'I've got a really sore throat' kind of voice, ALL the time. But it's not sexual, it's off-putting, and apparently she's into threesomes, bondage and other weird stuff, which isn't something I ever want to think about. She also has very long hair that falls out and clings to any surface she's near to. WTF?!! How am I supposed to work with this? I'm conjuring up images of that wench from 'Ring', the one who comes out of the telly? The Japanese version I hasten to add, not the crappy Hollywood remake. Anyway, I can't really hear her when she talks on the phone, so I'm concerned that my job's going to be hellish for the next three months. Groan.

Oh well. It may as well be, it's not like it isn't a pain in the ass most of the time. Bring it on.

Ceti Alpha V: The Milk Planet

Today, whilst taking a 'comfort break', I saw a man emerging from the Marketing Department who looked like Kahn. Kahn as in, 'The Wrath of Kahn'. He didn't really have the hair, but he had the face. I attempted to follow him, but lost him at the lifts. My new mission is to find out who he is, and if he works for us. Perhaps Kahn is trying his luck with the dairy industry, and is developing some mini-cows to enter our brains and wrap themselves round our cerebral cortexes. Who knows. When I got back to my desk, all I could hear in my head was "Let them eat static.' I knew that no-one around me would appreciate this extraordinary incident, so I kept it to myself. It would be just like them to assume I meant Chaka Kahn, which simply would not do. However, I told Hefty when I got home, and we have made the executive decision to watch said film, on Laserdisc. Because if you're going to nerd out, you should probably do it with a Laserdisc.

On a slightly less extraordinary note, Hefty made garlic mash tonight, and we now both stink. I'm hoping a peach Little Stars Fromage Frais will take the edge off it, but I'm doubtful.

The LIES! The HORROR! The TRUTH!

Today, I found out something VERY disturbing. Barry Scott, is NOT Barry Scott at all!!!

"Neil Burgess is an actor best known for his portrayal of the character "Barry Scott" on the UK version of the television adverts for cleaning product Cillit Bang.

He has, as a result of this, developed several famous (as well as humorous) shouted catchphrases. Some of these include "Hi, Barry Scott here!", "Look what it does to this penny!" and "Bang, and the dirt is gone!" Neil has also appeared in the music video for Real To Me by Brian McFadden. He also appeared on The Bill as an axe murderer.

He reprised his Barry Scott character to advertise for EasyOff's new multipurpose Bam cleanser."

WTF!!!!! I am not amused, and am saddened by this terrible news. Lies, all lies, are we to believe anything he says? I am truly saddened.

iP

(Text courtesy of Wikipedia)

N.B. I would like to have seen that axe murderer scene.

Brain drugs

So I'm currently on brain drugs to stop all my symptoms. My symptoms being EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD EVER PART II. When I say brain drugs, I mean they are affecting my brain rather than my stomach, which is better apparently. It's called Cyclizine, and is exciting because it's on Wikipedia. To my mind, if it's on Wikipedia, it must be alright. The picture of its chemical structure is groovy too, and reminds me of Blockbusters. I loved Blockbusters, good old Bobby Holness. Wonder where he is now. Anyway, I tried to post a picture of it, but it didn't work. Balls. But just look it up, it's worth it.

Comment of the day

Tonight I watched a programme about the launch of Windows Vista. Along with the satisfaction of seeing them use Macs to create their 'slick' graphics, and listening to them talking about future possibilities (things Macs already do), I have to hand it to an unwitting member of the public who, upon being told Bill Gates had spent 6 years and 10 Billion Dollars on creating Vista, said "Oh, and that's the best he could do?".

God bless you maam.


(N.B. I know I should really use a Vista pic, but this is MY blog and I reserve the right to NEVER publish such rot)

iP - Still sulking about Charlie Brooker, as only us Mittens can

Sick sucks

Ill again, will someone give me a goddamm BREAK.

I'm fed up. And can't see this too well as my eyes are blurry.

Pah.

Busy, tired, orange

Yes I know I disappeared off again, despite my claims of regular blogging from now on. Last weekend was super busy so I didn't get chance. Friday night was when I dyed my hair blackish again, Saturday morning we went shopping and to Costa Coffee, Saturday afternoon my sister and the Biz came round, Saturday night we were at SuperSaz's til about half twelve, on Sunday we went home accessory shopping with a stop-off at Starbucks for breakfast, then in the afternoon (late afternoon at that) we went out for dinner. We got home at about 6pm at which point I embarked on a cleaning and washing mission. I've been late home every night this week due to milk chaos, and this weekend has been busy again!! Friday night saw the return of SuperSaz to the Hefty/iPandah household, Saturday morning I hauled ass 20 miles over the other side of the city to get Hefty's hair cut (I visited Caffe Nero whilst he was being shorn, and very pleasurable it was too), then we came back and cleaned/washed before having the neighbours round for coffee, then going out for dinner and to the cinema with said neighbours. Alas, the performance was cancelled cos some nobber was smoking in the lavatories which set off the fire alarm, and the staff couldn't reset it so they had to evacuate everyone. We never even got inside to attempt watching Apocalypto, and as that's the second time we've tried to see it, I'm beginning to think it's fate. Today, I have been cleaning again but am off out in a bit to meet one of my friends for a drink. So you see, I've been uber busy!!! So no criticism you swines, I aint gonna take it!!

Phew, I'll just take a breath.

I did something quite dramatic on Wednesday though. My roots had started to come through again ALREADY, which enraged me so that I thought sod it, and tried to dye my hair back blonde again so that I wouldn't have to dye it ever again!!! For a good few months anyway. I put this pre-lightener thing on which turned my hair ORANGE like a Stabilo Boss, thus meaning that the blonde I had bought had no effect whatsoever. So I had to trail out to the 24 hour supermarket (orange hair in tow) to buy a light brown. It looks okay now actually, but there are still traces of ginger so I've had to give my self-a permanent side-parting for the time being. But, my roots should be less noticeable for a while and it may even fade, all being well. It's such a trauma when you're a blonde Demi-Goth. It just aint fair. Hpph.

I think I'm just going to sleep this afternoon when I get back, cos I need some rest!!!

Anyway, got to go and get ready.

Bye.

Lazy/Slacker/Useless/Delete as appropriate iPandah