Today I made the foolish decision to go back to work. I wasn't well, I felt worse, now I'm back to square one. And all because I couldn't resist a pink french fancy and chocolate-free Hob-Nobs. I'd like to say they were worth it, but I still have bits of Hob-Nob stuck in my teeth that are refusing to shift, and I decided to thank Ford for the pinky goodness by emailing him in French. It basically said, "Thank you very much for the french fancy, it was delicious and very pink. You are very generous Mr Ford. Your grateful friend, iPandah." Le mistake grande. He hasn't spoken to me since :0( That'll teach me to be clever. Luckily, Ming IS still speaking to me, not that he has any reason not to, and we spent the rest of the afternoon marvelling over the lovely Debbie McGee's Models website. Yes, THAT Debbie McGee. She has models. It's quite possibly the most random selection of people ever, and they're all doing 'Shazam' style poses. I'd give you the link, but for some reason, all the links I've tried to add recently don't work due to some Blogger server problem. Boo. Anyway, just Google 'Debbie McGee's Models' and I'm sure you'll come up trumps.
Later on in the afternoon, my big boss Mr H came to have a chat with us little people. We discussed the recent departure of the Milk-Powder and Ingredients Manager (she basically never came back after the last pay day - not a word to anyone), and how not only was she rubbish at her job, but nobody liked her anyway because she was an over-bearing, opinionated loud-mouth who swore too much and probably breathed flames when no-one was looking. He then wanted to discuss the triumph that was, Original Rod Hull Day. He thought it was marvellous that something so simple had brought so many people together, and declared that I clearly had 'hidden talents' that needed to be 'exploited further.' Indeed Mr H. Sod HR and their 'Team-Building' excercises. Forcing folk to congregate into groups of people they'd never normally fraternize with, so they can make mobile-phone holders out of plastic cups and pipe cleaners is NOT the way to go. You need to pick something ridiculous that everyone can relate to. Like Rod Hull. Everyone wears a bit of pink, we all eat pink food, Bob's your uncle Fanny's your aunt. It's not rocket science. So, upon hearing the news that I am basically a mofo-genius, I decided to test his reaction to the next theme day I have in mind, Rainbow Day. We get to wear a plethora of different colours, consume a much wider variety of E numbers, and all in the name of Zippy, George and Bungle. He LOVED it. Therefore, my plans for said event can be much bolder, now that I have the support of upper management.
Y'know, I could probably market this shit to companies everywhere and make a fortune. If I could be bothered. Which I can't. Yet. Maybe one day. If there's enough Hob-Nobs in it.
2 comments:
It's not so much 'models' as it is mug shots of crusty old pub landladies and gypsy fortune tellers.
Well you have to remember, this is a woman who married Paul Daniels, presumably based on some sort of sexual attraction. Her idea of good looking is clearly off the map. A big map. That doesn't actually exist.
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