Sunday, April 29, 2007

One day I shall be thin

Last night, we went next door for a barbecue. I had already eaten by the time the invite came in, so I just went round to be sociable. It was tres amusant, and very informative, as let us not forget, my neighbours are both doctors, and always keen to know about the latest drama in the medical adventure that is my life. Hefty feasted on a helluva lot of chicken and pitta bread. Then, it got SO COLD we had to go indoors and drink tea. British weather ey, you can't beat it (or predict it).

Today it's lovely and sunny, so I should really hoover out my car. Meh, maybe later. I put in another sesh in the gym, so hopefully that, combined with my even lower calorie diet, should eventually lead me to my goal of supermodel-esque, svelte figure.

I read today about a new Super Juice, called Zambrosa.

Apparently, it's a '....fruity drink bursting with red grape, blueberry and raspberry extracts, which is said to be the most concentrated antioxidant drink on the market....if you down 30ml in the morning, you have already consumed the same amount of goodness as you would get from your five a day. It gives the energising hit of a shot of espresso, without the bitter aftertaste or subsequent slump.'

Sounds good to me, though at £21.00 a bottle (458ml) it certainly aint cheap. I did find it for £17.00 on t'interweb, but by the time P+P kicks in, there's probably no saving really. I'm contemplating whether or not to try it. I think the problem here is that, if it works, great, if it doesn't, I'll have paid twenty squids for juice. Hmm, one to consider further I think....

Tonight, I am going to watch 'Fat Man's Warning' on C4 at 9.00pm. It might be crap, the basic premise involves a 30 stone American walking round Britain and standing outside fast food restaurants shouting "Look how fat I am! This could be you if you go in here!" I watched 'Super Skinny Me: The Race to Size Double Zero' last Sunday, which was good, but I'm not sure about this one. I can always turn it off if it is rubbish I guess. I should really catch up with the snooker. We'll see.

Do you know, this past couple of weeks, the only radio we've listened to is 'theJazz'? All a bit random. Fancied a bit of jazz, found it on the old DAB and that's been it ever since. There's no adverts, and the jazz (so far) hasn't been weird, impro Howard Moon type stuff, so it's been uber relaxing and entertaining. It makes me feel like I live in some swanky New York apartment when I get up on a morning and put it on in the kitchen. Hell, anything that makes Monday mornings that little bit less depressing is good by me!

Today, I read The Times Rich List, to see which of my friends' dads were still in or had moved up (and down). It's something I do every year, lord knows why. There were the usual few, and it occurred to me that I am not yet a multi-millionaire in my own right. I had a rare moment of ambition and decided I needed to come up with some kind of winning idea to put this problem right. Then Hefty came in, and I realised if anyone was going to engineer such a move out of the two of us, it wasn't going to me. He's definitely the brains of the operation, I'm too lazy and inconsistant. I'm still considering the possibility of something or other, but whether it'll come in to fruition or not, it's hard to say.

Oh well. I don't mind being a lady who lunches. As long as I've got a Macbook Pro, a piano, and a limitless supply of Zambrosa, I'm sure I'll manage to achieve something that makes me look half-successful enough to be the wife of an entrepreneur. If my only gift to the world is looking fabulous, being able to use OSX, and hammer out 'Fur Elise' on the old ivories, I'll cope. And very nicely too I should think.

Saturday, April 28, 2007


Well, I've been awake since 5.45am because Hefty is SNORING! And REALLY snoring at that! He doesn't normally do this kind of thing, you get the odd noise now and then but that's it. All my attempts to nudge/shove/stroke/kick him into submission have failed. So I've just had to get up, but I consequently have a blinding headache, cos we had a late night. He's got some ear plugs, which are clearly working well for him, but he keeps forgetting to bring the ones he got for me home, so if this kind of activity continues, I'm going to have to get used to early mornings and headaches. So far I've watched 'The Book of Pooh,' 'Ebb and Flo,' 'Peppa Pig,' and now 'Fifi and the Flowertots.' The first three were pretty good (Ebb and Flo has been a favourite of mine for years, I could sing the theme tune to you, but I won't), but Fifi is apalling, and I may have to turn it over.

Last night we watched 'The Lost Boys,' which I haven't seen for years. I used to watch it a hell of a lot, and I still know most of it off by heart, but watching it again after so long was chunky fun. I was excited all day yesterday about it in fact! And repeatedly told SuperSaz that I was planning on watching it, an action which eventually led to her shouting "Oh god I know I KNOW!" Next on the list to watch is 'Flashback,' an AWESOME film with Dennis Hopper and Kiefer Sutherland in it. I purchasd it for 3 of your English pounds, a victory in my eyes. Virgin have 'Kickboxer' for TWO POUNDS at the moment, so I may have to acquire that too, if only to see the bit where he gets drunk and starts dancing like a carping loon!

Well, I have to email my brother, as he had the cheek to leave a note on my Facebook wall accusing me of slacking off in the communication stakes. Ironic really, he, who is usually harder to locate than Lord Lucan, suddenly wants to chat like a maniac, and my sister, who I usually speak to everyday, has dropped off the face of the Earth!!! Roles have been reversed! Though I'm actually concerned that my sister is reverting back to her pre-pregnancy personality, which wasn't great, as we didn't really get on, and hardly spoke, especially after I rang her up on my wedding day and she told me she was watching a DVD so if I wanted to speak to her I should do so another time! Nice! And that was pretty much why I hated her more than I liked her! But as soon as The Biz came on the scene, she changed, and it has all been fab and groovy ever since (until now, perhaps?!!). Whereas me and the Jonotron have always got on, and the only argument I ever had with him, was when he fell off his bike (he was about 6!) and tried to say I pushed him!! I got in trubs for that, and didn't speak to him for about two weeks! But that's it really, though him being in Australia means that severing ties with one sibling, may as well be with both, as I haven't seen him since last November, and email isn't quite the same as speaking properly.

Oh the trials and tribulations of life ey. Thank heavens I have Hefty, my bezzo for life, the only person I can truly rely on. I guess he deserves a little bit of snoredom now and then, he's clearly earned it.

* Please note, this image is NOT a picture of me OR Hefty, it was just the best one I could find to convey my angst.

Friday, April 27, 2007


Yesterday I rolled in to work staggering about, confused, and generally acting like a drunkard. BUT, if you recall my allergy to alcohol you'll realise that I was NOT drunk, at all!! So, what the CARP was going on? (fishy exclaimations are the way forward!) Well, I began a course of new tablets for my fancy Meniere's Disease on Wednesday, and though I felt a bit shit on Wednesday night, I had no idea I would wake up in the state I was in yesterday! I staggered out of bed and nearly went over the bannister, but I put it down to my feeling uber tired. I had real trouble getting up, but not in the usual 'I don't want to go to work today' kind of way. I soldiered on though, even driving to work, which I have to admit, wasn't a problem. But within about ten minutes of being sat at my desk, I was a mess!! I felt sick, couldn't walk properly, felt like I hadn't slept for a week, and could bearely talk or keep my eyes open! My pupils were dilated to the max, I must have looked like a huge piss-head/stoner. Luckily, my fabulous work chums know me better than that, and the lovely JT, my adjacent compadre, drove me home where I slipped into a coma for about 5 hours (metaphorically speaking). I still feel a bit groggy today, but I'm off in cos I've got tons to do. Scottie's giving us a lift, so I should be okay!

What a drama though. I wish to be normal, is that so difficult?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Meniere's dontchaknow

Apologies for yet another disappearance (I know I'm saying this a lot at the mo), but I've been ill again and had a trip to hospital. I'll not bore you with all the details, but I've seen a Consultant about my Vertigo gubbins and she seems to think I have something called Meniere's Disease. MD (I'm so lazy) involves Vertigo, but it also has a bit of Tinnitus and deafness thrown in for good measure. Whereas with Vertigo it's to do with loose particles in the wrong bits of the ear, MD is a swelling of the inner ear, which is why you get ringing and deafness as well as sickness and dizziness. She's booked me into a Vertigo clinic in the meantime, but I have to go for an MRI scan so she can check out her theory, as well as eliminating the possibility of tumours. It causes 'drop attacks' (how awesome does that sound?!), which I may have mistaken for fainting, so it's all a bit more interesting than it was before. Not looking forward to the clinic thing, as I have to stop taking all my medication for two weeks leading up to the appointment, which could be hellish!! But it has to be done. It's a constant drama with me, I must be the most random 27 year old ever. I have just about EVERYTHING wrong with me. But nothing fatal, so it could be worse I guess. Ho hum.

In other news, after a second gruelling week of dieting, I was thoroughly disgusted to see I've put on 2 of the 5 pounds that I lost last week. I've been stricter than last week, AND exercised, so I'm pretty gutted. We now have a gym in our house, so I figured I was in a win/win situation. Obviously not. Bah >:0(

All of this stuff going on has left me pretty miserable. I'm now fat and deaf, with a tendancy to 'drop.' It's either a winning idea for a film, or a horrible dream I'm having.

Today, I dropped Hefty off at work (at about 7.30am) to find workmen repainting the lines in the car park. I appreciate they need doing, but first thing in the morning? Whilst people are arriving? We had to move some cones and squeeze through a gap in order to avoid getting paint all over my tyres. Useless. Wait until people leave morons!!

Time to sleep anyway, I'm uber tired, but also don't want to watch anymore TV in case I see that stupid Cravendale advert again. There's clearly some twats working at our place. A one legged pirate, a cow, and some dude on a bike do not equal a good advert. I used to think the cows that wanted their milk back was kind of creepy. Now, I wish they'd come after me.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

5 5 5 5 5!!!!!

Wahoo! I've lost 5 pounds, 5 WHOLE POUNDS, FIVE!!!!! In a week no less! Brilliant! I am very impressed :0) I suspect it will be less next week, but it's certainly going in the right direction. I may be a supermodel yet!

This morning, at 5am, a police helicopter decided to hover around our area for around 25 minutes. The chunky swines!! I inevitably couldn't sleep then, and lay there thinking about how many illnesses and ailments I have, until the alarm went off at 6am. Rubbish.

I got into work and JT was off ill, Scottie was on holiday, so it was just me and Lise. On farmer pay day. Happy happy joy joy. Not. Farmers aren't great on the phone anyway (well, some are, but not enough), but when they're also mardy, it's not a winning combination. A day of HELL is what we've had. I had to work an extra hour too cos of the other two being off, which would normally be okay but Hefty wanted to get home early so he could finish painting the garage. Consequently, he's still at it now.........


In other news, I successfully earned myself three of your English pounds. Well, got it back really having spent it. I sent my sister a Thornton's hamper along with a Thank You card. The card, wasn't in the hamper!! Scandalous! So I complained and Thornton's have agreed to refund it to me. Not a terribly exciting tale, just another instance of the small man (woman) taking on the big boys and winning. Or something.

Well my funky blue nail varnish is all chipped and nasty lookin. I'm off to slap on some more.

Monday, April 16, 2007


Look at me, two posts in one day, tis a miracle! Anyway, I had to post a note about the SHAME my sister has brought upon the family. Yesterday, whilst looking for a 'practical family car', she bought a BMW 318. SHAME ON YOU!!! Now, she's doomed to a lifetime of:

1. Never indicating EVER

2. Changing lanes too quickly, at the last minute, and ALWAYS in a dangerous manner

3. Parking about as good as if a legless donkey was driving the car

4. Speeding, at ALL times

5. Beeping to let someone know she's arrived at their house because she's too important to knock on the door or at least phone from the car

6. Always being on the phone, therefore driving one handed and causing the events outlined in points 1 to 4

AND, of course, she will now be subject to EVERYONE thinking she is a complete and utter WANKER, which I now kind of think she is. See, it's working all ready....

For the love of god, I hope she doesn't put the Biz in there!!! But it may already be too late.....

Why oh why oh why oh why etc......

Ice ice baby

So this weekend, Hefty painted the garage walls and sealed the floor with this rubbery, blue paint stuff. He's turning it into a gym, citin! The equipment hasn't yet arrived, hopefully it will be doing so on Friday, so we can become units again. My initial fitness spurt was hampered somewhat by the operation, but I'm trying to get back into it now, and am back on the old diet. It's gruelling, but I'm trying to think what I'll (hopefully) look like in six months, as opposed to how I look and (feel) now. I successfully managed to sit in a McDonald's and eat NOTHING, whilst the two people I was with did, which I felt was a moment of glory in my persistent battle to lost weight. I should point out that I'm not exactly huge, and don't have a lot to lose, but I'm definitely a little heavier than I should be!! The fight goes on....

Yesterday, me, my best friend Scottie, and her Mum H, all went to Manchester to watch 'Dancing on Ice: The Tour.' I developed an addiction to DOI, as it was on inbetween Harry Hill's TV Burp and Primaeval, and I just ended up watching it. I got quite excited about my Saturday nights when it was on, and even Hefty would pop in from the kitchen now and then to see what the scores were. Not usually the kind of programme I would watch, I'm definitely more of a gratuitous violence and bad language person, but there is an element of skill involved with ice skating, so you have to give the celebs credit for having a crack at it. We had a wicked view, but looking round the arena, it looked like you could sit anywhere in there and have a good view, bonza! The first half of the show was done like the programme, so they all had to perform a number and be judged by the panel. The panel consisted of the usual suspects, except that the Russian woman with ginger hair had been replaced by some dude from Century FM, wherever that is? We all booed that Jason fella vehemently, and cheered the celebs with as much effort. Kyran was there (he was clearly the crowd's fave), along with Duncan, Bonnie Langford, Lisa Scott-Lee, buck-toothed gypsy Claire (how I hate her), and some others from series 1, who I didn't know. They were famous apparently, but I'd never seen any of 'em. It's not like I watch a lot of TV though, and certainly not soaps or anything, so I'm a bit clueless. Anyways, they all skated, and we could text at the end of the first half, the name of the person we wanted to do the Bolero in the final. They CHARGED for the texts though! Which I thought was an outrage! The tickets were £40.00 each, you'd think we could vote for FREE!!!! I'd left my phone at home anyway though, so I couldn't have voted even if I'd wanted to. Kyran and Bonnie ended up in the final, and Kyran won again, which was all very exciting! I do like Kyran, he's such a nice chap!

After all that gubbins, they put on a proper show, so all the pros did their thang, and it was V.impressive!! The only random thing was this couple from Russia doing a 'Wheels on Ice' routine, involving big hamster style wheel things. They spun them and rolled around a bit. Bizarre. It was just kind of weird, as you didn't watch them and say, "Wow!", so much as, "Why would you do that?" All in all though, a wickedace show, we really enjoyed ourselves, and we've decided that Saturday nights will be 'Dancing on Ice' nights, when series 3 comes out. We'll sit at home (me, Scottie, her mum, and I'll try and rope Hefty in), have a takeaway, and hold up the score cards we got with the program (another rip-off, TEN pounds!). We only bought one program, so we're going to photocopy the cards. I can't wait!!

So that's me. I had another dizzy do today, not good, but I think it's cos I'm tired. I came home at lunchtime and have just been sleeping. Wish they could cure it, it's no fun :0(

Tomorrow is my first weigh in, I've been on a diet for a week! Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Sleeeep (would be nice)

Well blimey charlie, I'm a bit short on time of late. It's slipping away, to coin a Mansun phrase (well, song). I've been working, coming home and doing gentle excercises to get back into shape since the op, eating dinner, and going to bed!! I'm really tired at the moment, it's very hard. Being ill sucks. I believe it's my Endo that's causing the fatigue, as it has a tendancy to do that. But because mine isn't the worst they've ever seen, I have to wait until the 25th July before I know what they can do to help!! It's 4 months from the day I had the op, but at the time they said they'd see me in 6 weeks! Lying punks!

Got my Joanne Lees book today, and my pal is in it!! There's pictures of him, and she mentions him a lot! It's freaky! Hefty's going to tell him tomorrow (he works with him, I used to) how excited I am to have a book with the Jaffster in it!! The book itself is good as well actually. I'm only a short way in, she hasn't got to the bad bit yet, but it's a good read. I'm trying to read another book at the mo though, and Hefty bought me 'Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way' for Easter, so that'll be next!

Property Ladder was on last night. I used to love it cos Sarah Beeney would tell people their ideas were terrible and they'd ignore her and then live to regret it. Nowadays, she tells people they're making a mistake, they ignore her and sell up for twice as much as they originally wanted!! I prefer to watch nobbers make idiots of themselves, but now it would seem any old twat can be a property developer, common sense isn't necessary! Grand Designs was the best one of the series though. It's been a little weak so far (with crappy houseboats and stuff), but the Art Deco mansion thing was a triumph! I couldn't live in it, I don't do Art Deco, but it was fabulous. I'd like to live in a futuristicy house, that looks like the kind they'd have in a sci-fi film. A Jetson's-esque pad would be dynamic!

Anyway, I'm uber tired and must go to bed, my eyes are sore and my ears are suffering as I can hear the Hulk on the tv in the lounge. No-one's watching it (the way it should be) but I can hear it. Shudder....

Ta ra rat fans!


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Belated Blog Birthday

Well, it would seem that yesterday was my Blog Birthday (not sure why I capitalised that). Shame on me for not knowing that. So I'm wishing myself a Happy Belated Blog Birthday! We've all been having them recently, clearly there's something about this time of year that makes us want to whinge! I'm not going to do that now though. I'm going to bed instead, cos I'm knackered and have had a crap day.

iP - 1 year old and counting

Sunday, April 08, 2007

A serious note

I'm feeling serious. Not like me I know, but stick with me on this one.

I just watched 'Murder in the Outback', which was a TV dramatisation of the Peter Falconio murder in 2001. It really scared me, even though I have no intention of EVER going travelling around the Australian bush. It's a long time since I've watched anything that scared me that much, and the last thing was, ironically, the film 'Wolf Creek', which was along the same lines. I think the worst thing about it, wasn't even the events themselves, though lord knows they were horrific, it was the way Joanne Lees was treated by the media. I can't even begin to imagine how horrendous it must be to go through something like that and then have to contend with people pointing the finger at you. What possesses one person to question another person's reaction to such a tragedy? Who jumps to a conclusion of guilt because someone's recollection of events isn't clear and concise enough, or because they're not crying as much as they 'should' be. The way the media manipulated the story into something it wasn't just to sell papers is thoroughly disgusting. It's no wonder evidence got missed, or lost, or not dealt with properly. Perhaps if the focus had been in the right place, they'd have caught the murderer sooner, and maybe even recovered Peter's body. I guess we'll never know.

One of my friends is Joanne's friend, and he actually went to the trial with her last December. At the time, it was just a novelty to see him on the front covers of newspapers and websites, but now, it has registered with me what a good friend he must be. I don't think she has too many close friends, and who can blame her, it can't be easy. How do you move on from something like this? It's no wonder she went through different jobs and lived in numerous houses due to the attention she, unintentionally, attracted. I think my mate is one in a million, there can't be many who'd fly out to Australia and sit through a trial like that if they didn't genuinely care about her. I'd love to tell him this, but I probably never will. It's not a topic I'd ever want to bring up in conversation, after all, I don't know Joanne myself, so it's none of my business, even if half the world thinks it's theirs. It's this semi-close connection though, that is what, I think, has made this story so important to me.

I'm sure people will always have their own opinions on this, and not everyone will believe Joanne's version of events, thanks to the media. I know that one evening during the trial, a woman went up to Joanne in a bar and asked if she'd murdered anyone lately. It's instances like that that make me think there really is no hope for the human race sometimes.

I've been pretty moved by the whole thing anyway, and have just ordered her book. I hope she manages to live out the rest of her life with some kind of normality, and that one day, Peter Falconio's body is found. It's given me a new-found appreciation for what I've got, and puts all the stupid things I worry about in perspective.

So there. That's me being deep. It's not often I feel this strongly about something but hey, what are blogs for.


Saturday, April 07, 2007

Happy Easter

It's not been a great week. My sick note only lasted til the 2nd and to get one for this week as well entailed having to go back to the docs and tell em how crap I felt, something I couldn't be bothered to do. I figured I may as well have a crack at work, cos I'll have to get back into it eventually, and waiting til after Easter would have probably made it that little bit harder to face. So I went back on Monday. I felt awful. Pain, sickness, general knackeredness, it sucked. My solution was to come home and go straight to bed every night, which I did. I was in bed for 5pm, a miracle by my standards. I still felt rubbish every day, but decided I'd come too far to turn back. On Thursday we had an Easter Party, so we pretty much tossed the day off and ate junk - a day that was much easier to cope with! I have a nice collection of white chocolate goodies to consume, and a few days off, so I'm feeling a bit better now.

The good news is, I can now sleep on my stomach again - hooray! No more nights of unbroken rest, a combination of this fact and strong painkillers means that I've slept fabulously the past couple of nights. We didn't do much yesterday, but this was fine by me! I got back into the old afternoon nap thing, and slept, a lot, but hey. Hefty's on call this weekend so we can't really go too far anyway.

Today, we went to the local coffee shop for breakfast, and sat in the garden for the first time. Hefty mowed it, and we plastered ourselves in suncream. I read an article all about chocolate in the paper, and by the end of it, felt sick just thinking about it. Allergy aside, normal chocolate really does make me want to hurl, so I'm surprised I got as far as I did with it. According to 'experts', Dairy Milk is a load of old tosh, and we should be eating one or two squares of the really dark stuff. Clearly these 'experts' have missed the point of why most people eat chocolate. You buy loads so you can scoff it and feel better/happy/full/sick/delete as appropriate. At least, I know when I tuck into a 150g Milky Bar, I'm planning on finishing it, and maybe following it with a couple of MB Choos. Yes, it tastes fab, but I'm not going to spend ten minutes letting it swim round my mouth, invoking my senses. I just want to troff it. They were terribly snobby about it all which was what pissed me off and made me sporadically shout "nobbers" at the page. The 12 year old who represented 'the consumer' seemed to have it spot on. Most of the stuff the nobbers labelled as 'proper chocolate' made her feel sick and tasted like ass. Hefty likes dark chocolate, the high cocoa percentage stuff, but not cos he thinks milk chocolate is common. I can't understand or be bothered with people who get all high and mighty about food. Eat what you like avoid what you don't, but don't judge everyone else by what they're having or not having. It's FOOD!! Nobbers.

Ooh I got a bit riled there, apologies! This is my first trip back on t'internet all week so I'm on a bit of a mission!! I've got to catch up with all the blogs out there that I normally read as well which could take hours!! I'll have to be quick, CSI:NY's on in forty minutes.

All that remains for me to say for now is Happy Easter folks!! Hope you're all having a blast, and enjoying muchos chocolate, whatever brand you've opted for.

Bon appetit :0)