Rhubarb and other tales

Last night, I watched How To Look Good Naked and Andrew Marr's History of Britain, and then went to bed. I was shattered, but don't remember what I was doing before I watched TV. Though I felt uber sick last night, so it may have just been one of my 'special moments'. I've had a few of those recently. The other day, I was waiting in the car for Hefty to come out (we were going to work), and they were on about 'bin shrinking' on the news, and how too many teenagers were doing it. How queer, thought I, what a dull way to entertain yourself. And what a waste of a good wheelie bin and box of matches!! I complained to Hefty about the ridiculousness of it all, and he looked at me blankly. "I think they were talking about 'binge drinking' actually," said he. Oh dear, thought I, and slowly reversed out of the drive in shame.

Today, I got into a conversation with my friend NJ about whether or not cows could bungee jump. If they did, would you put a rope around each leg, or just a sling type thing round its waist? Triguing aint it? I also told him that you can clean silver with rhubarb, but he didn't believe me, the swine.

There's nothing on tonight, so we're going to watch 'Bombon', which is a French film about a dog. Sounds random, but I'm assured it's really quite good.

I have signed up for online DVD rentals, and seem to be getting a good deal. It's with the dreaded Tesco (boo, hiss) but they had the best offer. As much as I hate them, I'm loathe to pay out loadsamoney just for some DVDs, especially if they're crap.

In other news, I have convinced my friend Jaff to have a HUGE pirate party for his birthday in December. It's his 40th (no way!! He only looks about 25!) and he wanted to do something different, but seems to have done most things. Anyway, I told him he should hire a boat, and have a huge pirate party, with pirate food (meat) and rum! Everyone has to wrap their presents in gold or silver wrapping paper, and put them in a huge treasure chest, and there can be a mahoossive cake that's a barrel of rum or something, or a big Jolly Roger flag, it'd be brilliant!! Luckily, he LOVES the idea, so it just might happen folks!! I'm thinking of as many cool ideas for it as poss, and can't wait!! As it's only 5 days after mine, I'm doubly excited! Not that it'll be a joint thing, I'm just really excited!!! Word!

Bad news this week, the Biz bit some kid at nursery. Little punk!! She's in trubs, but it's not like a lot of kids don't do that kind of thing, I have told my newly big-boobed sister to chillax. We're waiting to hear about her next lot of antics, whatever next? Must be the El Ginge in her, the swine!!!

Anyway, I have pirate stuff to do, ARRRRRRR!

Keep it real folks, keep it scurvilicious.