The broccoli had gone. But the hurt remained.

Hello again. I am returned. And what a fun week it has been. Hmm.

So I turned up at the hospital at around 5 to 11 on Saturday morning and had a pre-op assessment. This involved checking that all the info I'd given them previously was accurate and still the same. Then I got into a sexy gown, and sat in the waiting room with Hefty. Some dude turned up and I was led away to the anaesthesia room down the hall. I got onto the bed whilst they took my blood pressure and other important malarky gubbins, and then had to drink this foul tasing antacid thing, to make sure my stomach was settled. Then they put one of those horrible hand needle attachment thingys on me (which hurt like a bastard) and pumped me full of anaesthetic. And that was that.

Next thing, I woke up in some other random room, where a load of nurses were sat around chatting. They came to see if I was okay, and tried to sit me up. I fainted. Ha! You can always rely on me to faint!! I explained to them that I have Benign Positional Vertigo (that's BPV to those in the know), and that I would need my medication. They said I was only allowed painkillers and if I wanted anything else, the doctor would have to sign it off, and there wasn't one. Hefty then appeared, and so did my sister, and they tried to get me up again, but I passed out good and proper, so they told me I wasn't allowed to go home, I'd have to stay in. Boo. This upset me a lot, I don't like hospitals, and the thought of having to stay in one on my own was traumatic!! So whilst they wheeled me up to some ward, I pretty much wept like a badger, and cursed myself for having this operation in the first place. There was only 2 other people on my ward, a couple of old-ish ladies, but I didn't pay too much attention, as I was in pain, semi-conscious, and over-wrought at the prospect of a night without the big H (that's Hefty, not Heroin, for anyone who may have jumped to that conclusion). It's all a bit vague, so some of these details might be wrong, but I remember Hefty and my sister leaving to go and get some stuff for me. They returned with my iPod (a vital accessory for hospital survival, as it turned out) and some other things. I cried again when they had to leave, and lay with a pillow over my head, trying to block out the strip lighting and muffle my incessant sobbing.

Eventually, I fell asleep, but woke up at god knows what time, because one of the oldish ladies was snoring. And when I say snoring, I mean SNORING. I've never heard such a racket in my life!! It was louder than bombs, so I decided to get up and leave, as you do. Yep, it's fair to say I was a little confused, and though I knew I wasn't at home, I wasn't too sure about anything else, only that I wanted to find a phone and call Hefty, after a trip to the loo. So I found the lavatory pretty quickly, and turned on the light. As I stood there with the door open, I suddenly thought, 'I don't feel so good, I might actually pass out, again'. I decided that pulling the red cord with a plastic triangle on it might be a wise idea. It was. It set off an alarm, and 2 nurses came running. They arrived just in time to see me fall over and land arse first on the toilet (an impressive trick, probably couldn't do that again if I tried), hitting my head on the toilet paper dispenser on the way down. They quickly wheel-chaired me back to bed, but not before I'd demanded that they 'remove my paper pants and let me wee at once' in a moment of Withnail-esque euphoria. Then, before I knew it, I was back in bed. I can't tell you how uncomfortable it was. In fact, how uncomfortable it has been all week, mainly because I can ONLY get to sleep on my stomach, and lying on my back (and side, when possible) has meant I haven't had a good night's sleep all week. And I've got terrible back ache too, which is making me feel lousy. I wasn't allowed out until 4pm on Sunday, because they decided that perhaps medicating me for the vertigo might be a wise idea after all, but wanted to give me a few doses beforehand so they could check I was progressing. it didn't help that the doctor on duty didn't know about the clocks going forward, and turned up an hour late. So all I did really was pod out, listening to a bit of Harry Potter, Lacuna Coil, and Korn, whilst I waited for the rents to turn up.

So my folks and Hefty came to collect me, and after the bumpiest car journey ever, I finally arrived home, and went straight to bed. And this is pretty much where I've been all week. I've watched a lot of films, read a few magazines, despaired at daytime TV, and tried to sleep. Stitches came out yesterday, which also hurt, but I am apparently on the road to recovery. Was only allowed to wash on Tuesday, and not with soap or anything. So today was my first day of full on washing!! I used shower gel AND got to wash my hair! Wahoo!! And it turns out that it was worthwhile having the op after all, as I have Endometriosis, which can be bad news!! I go back in 6 weeks for my follow-up consultation, where hopefully I'll find out more. For now though, it's quite nice just to know I do have something wrong with me after all, and though it's taken years for them to find, at least they now have. Hopefully I can concentrate on getting better now, well, in about 6 weeks, when they tell me what they're going to do about it.

So that's me. And that's my week. And now I'm sleepy again.

Zzzzzzzzzzz..................iP.............zzzzzzzzzzzzzz