Wednesday, June 30, 2010


So today I reached a decision. Recently, I have worked out who my friends are. It's not tricky, friendship is a two-way thing and if you're not going to make the effort then I'm not either. If you don't want to be my friend because you don't like who I am or what I do, that's fine, but either say so, or just naff off. Don't linger out of some sense of propriety.

In other news, I have decided to get a Blackberry when my contract runs out in a couple of months, and get rid of my now USELESS iPhone. What I will do, is get an iPad so that I've still got a cool touchy screeny thing to play with. My phone really has become unbearable since I did the new update. If I open my text inbox, it takes about five seconds for anything to happen. Same if I try and open a text. It also keeps freezing, turning itself off, and the contact list randomly opens for no reason. I had just under an hour's conversation this evening and despite charging my phone this afternoon, I had to charge it again whilst still on the phone because I got the 'Low battery' warning. Utter crap. I have a lot of friends who I consider to be Apple newbies, and they're horrified that I could consider giving it up. Fact is, I've been using Apple products for twenty years, and I've never had a problem before. I have come to expect a certain standard, and I'm just not getting it, so I'm going to get something else. Okay, they're not losing out cos I'll get an iPad, but I'm not happy with them, because they were one of very few constants in my life. Apple have always been the brand I can trust. This iPhone fail has put them on shaky ground with me, though I don't anticipate any other product failures, I think it's simply the bad design of the iPhone. I've never understood why things are where they are on it, and having fiddled around with some other phones, the BlackBerry just came out on top. I like that it's fat, and a nice shape to hold. I like the way it works, and everything on it seems to be more thought out in terms of usability. Okay, I know it's lacking in some of the more flashy apps, but I'm not precious about phones, all I ever want in a phone is something I like that works. I got an iPhone because I'm an Apple user, I'm not into the status aspect of it. If it was the most unpopular phone ever but worked awesomely, I'd have it. The fact it's now shit annoys me, and as the new one is also crap, I feel a trade in is my best option.

I'd just like to say how much I'm enjoying 'Spartacus: Blood and Sand.' Initially, I complained that there wasn't enough fighting because they seemed too busy trying to fit boobs into every scene. Well, thankfully, they've cut back on the boobs a bit, and the fighting has increased tenfold. I already know what happens (I hate surprises to the point I have to know the entire plot of anything before I watch it, or I can't bear it!), and I'm excited about it. I love the imagery, the gore, the whole spadoopa! I also love 'Justified,' and not just because it has Timothy Olyphant in it. It's just a ruddy good programme about a US Marshal that's hidden amongst the bajillion random Channel Five channels floating around. I enjoy it every week, it's up there with 'The Mentalist' for me. Have enjoyed the new BBC Three series 'Mongrels' too, though I now need to have me a fat cat called marion. I don't watch a lot of TV, along with the odd 'Midsomer Murders,' this is pretty much it. I don't watch any of the popular stuff that people are always talking about, I'm really not down with the kids, but I'm fine with that.

That is in fact the lesson I have learnt as I've been thinking about the whole friends thing recently. I'm pretty much ill all the time, I'll never have a career, I have a lot of free time, but I'm happy doing either nothing or reading/listening to random interesting stuff. I don't feel the need to improve myself, I know I have no real skills, I don't need to find something I'm good at. All I do, is sleep (a lot), read, listen to the radio, watch a bit of TV, see a select few people here and there, sing in a band, keep the house clean and tidy, look after the Mr when he comes home, and look after my dog every day. I think I do these things reasonably well, and I'm happy with that. I appear to have lost a lot of friends who don't understand why I have no ambitions, why I'm not out socialising all the time, why I'm not out and about on mini-breaks or days out, why I've not had any kids like they have. But, I still have a few (and it is a few, but Id rather have a couple of really good friends than loads of faux friends) friends left who don't care about any of this. They are just my friends and that is it. They don't expect me to do anything other than be their friend back. If I want to moan about something, they listen, if they want to moan about something, I listen. It's not complicated at all, but I think it takes a long time to realise who your true friends are, and though I will never understand how some of the other ones work, at least I know which ones I can always rely on.

I wouldn't describe myself as a life-loving happy person, I would say I'm content. I seem to have a lot of bad luck so I tend to have bouts of miserableness. To some, mine is probably a waste of a life, but it is exactly that, MINE. It's my life to waste if I want, if you don't like it, I don't care. Ultimately, I'm FINE with that. Frankly, aside from the health thing, I wouldn't swap with anyone. I am a contented non-achiever for which I make no apologies.

*Note in response to image. It's goodbye actually...

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