Thursday, June 24, 2010

And thus my eyes did bleed...

Today I saw this image and it made me chuckle. I love the juvenility of the 'poke her face' comment. I'm a comedy simpleton, but I'm okay with that.

I just made an anniversary cake, which was an impulse decision to say the least. Never made one before, we didn't even have a wedding cake for Pete's sake, but I had some time to kill and thought, 'CAKE.' It's a dairy free cake, and I've never made it before, but it looks okay now it's outta the oven. The taste test will commence tomorrow, and I'll let you know if it was any cop. I'm currently deciding if I should garishly decorate it or keep it simple. I think garish, may as well push the boat out ey?

Hefty is currently making his way home from Dahn Sarf, as he has tomorrow off! He'll probably get back about 11.30pm, but it'll take less time than it normally does on a Friday afternoon. We're going to York for the day, as he's not really been round it for years, and though I used to work there, I've never done any of the touristy things like the Dungeon and Jorvik Centre, so we thought it'd be an interesting day out. My friend has an awesome coffee shop there too, in an 800 year old building under a bridge! So we thought we'd pop in on her and say howdy.

Today, I saw something HIDEOUS. Anyone who knows me will know that I hate BMWs, because they're generally driven by the chav scum of the earth, and none of these people are familiar with the Highway Code, so consequently are more likely to cause accidents and induce road rage amongst the rest of us. Well, not only do I hate them, I hate the design of them, because if you go back over the decades, some of them are alright looking, even if they're owned by twats, but that redesign thing that happened how ever many years ago, means that they now offend my eyes as well as my very being.
I'm going to start by saying that the Z4, is a ridiculous looking car. I'm trying to think of a creative way to describe it, but really, the only words that come to mind are 'ugly as fuck.' When it comes to the 1 series I think Jeremy Clarkson hit the nail on the head when he said it looked like a bread van with the sides kicked in. Most apt. But, the 6 series invokes something in me when I see it that is so much more powerful than the others. Quite simply, it is a MONSTROSITY. I think you have to see one of these beasts in the flesh to appreciate just how ugly it is, but as if that weren't bad enough, they made a convertible one, which is SO hideously designed, that the back window is the size of a letter box, but with less appeal (at least a letter box has a purpose). So today, not only did I see a 6 series, not only was it a convertible, but......(wait for it)....the scrotey owner had put England flags on it! Yes, those awful chavtastic England flags that are usually confined to the likes of a Mondeo or really old Fiesta, were actually sidled into the back windows of a Bavarian cockroach. NASTY. I was quite taken aback and sort of tripped over my feet a bit. Luckily, Ozzy, my new hero, decided that that very moment, he really needed to relieve himself, and subsequently did so right next to it. If I was less responsible, I would have quite happily left the little steaming pile there, in a sort of 'Yeah, that's what we think of you and your shit car' sort of way. But, inevitably, the chav would have had to head back to his Burberry Headquarters, and someone else might have stepped in it.

The other day, I saw a chav in Sainsbury's wearing denim hotpants, and they only half covered her arse. Why? Why would you wear those to Sainsbury's?

Anyway, I have two episodes of 'Spartacus: Blood and Sand' to watch so I'm going to do that. Laters!



Tim said...

*remembers not to wear hotpants to Sainsbury's again*

iPandah said...

I totally just pictured you in hotpants, you're lucky IDV and CyberPete don't read this!

Tim said...

Good point!