Arrrrrr

So I have just got back from seeing Pirates 3, which on the whole, was pretty good. I got well confused when Jack first came on the scene, I'm thinking he was hallucinating or something, but I was sort of thinking, 'Huh?' for the ten minutes or so it was on. And then he wasn't really in it enough, and there was some unnecessary schmaltz from Knightly and Bloom, and a particularly gratuitous, but in no way interesting, leg kissing scene. But I liked it, and somehow it didn't feel 3 hours long.

Zodiac on Sunday, looking forward to that lots!! Will tell you my thoughts after the event.....

Citin news! Today we got a Macbook! Lovely black one, 13 ", quick as a badger on a motorbike (however quick that is?). Hefty 'needs' it for his new job, but in a couple of months when he upgrades to a Macbook Pro 17 ", it's going to be mine, all mine. Yay!! I liked the white one, but I had to opt for Gothy black, and Hefty was happy to uphold my decision, after all, it's technically mine! So we're playing with it now, inbetween my putting the Big Brother Post-It note plan into action. So far I have the name Sarah. Let's hope this works.

...........Bloody hell!!! Hefty just rebooted the Macbook cos he's put more RAM in, and one of the downlighters in the kitchen flew out of its socket!! Feel the POWER of the MAC people, the revolution starts here!!!!!!!

Tuesdays

Do you know, I love Tuesdays. Only at the moment, and only because 'How to look good naked' is on, which is the best/most hilarious programme ever. For a start, the presenter is called Gok, and is clearly well gay, but also, despite it being shown at 8pm, it's FULL of women getting their boobs out! Tops are being whipped off here, there and everywhere, arses are hanging out, it's a naked free-for-all. Don't know how they get away with it, but it always makes me laugh for some reason. I don't know why, but seeing some woman get her baps out and wiggle them about saying "Ooh I wouldn't change em!" is just uber funny for me. I also like that they take photos of really self-conscious women and stick em on the side of vans, or project em on to buildings, in an attempt to show em how good they look. At the risk of sounding completely unoriginal, it's just so RANDOM!! And I love it.

The dreaded Big Brother returns tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to do. I never watch it, never, I only saw that celebrity one that was on last year, and even then, I don't think I saw much of it. However, I know that EVERYONE in my office will watch it, and I'm not sure I can sit through another Summer of "Did you see what Michelle did with a wine bottle?" or some such rubbish. I can't go through the embarrassment of hearing stories about lewd acts of depravity and saying "Really? Who's she, does she work in Finance?" I REALLY don't want to watch it, but I'm tempted to succumb for an easy life. I suppose I could just watch the first one and write down all their names on a Post-It. That way, when I hear some weird old shit being discussed in the office, I can check my list to see if it's a BB person they're on about . It's a powerful thing TV, and it takes something like this to make you realise it. I truly have sat through so many Summers where nobody has talked about anything but that, and they don't talk to me cos they know I don't watch it! Can I face that again? I just can't see the appeal of watching a bunch of unknowns. The celebrity one at least makes some kind of sense. Hmm, yes, I think I'll start off with a Post-It note and see what happens from there.

In other news, I have set up a 'JT Appreciation Society' on Facebook, as a tribute to my work buddy JT. It's got quotes, pictures, discussions, everything. Facebook is really quite cool sometimes. And a bit too addictive.

Did anyone watch 'Paul Merton in China' last night? I have rather enjoyed it, it's definitely on a par with 'Japanorama', though I don't particularly want to visit China, they eat dogs.

Pirates 3 tomorrow, should be good. It's so long since we last went that we're just looking forward to having a trip out!! Bit of popcorn maybe? I'm not a big fan of popcorn, but somehow feel I should be eating it during a film. I'm too complex for my own good sometimes.

Well, I need to wash some stuff up, stuff that can't really go in the dishwasher. Bah. I hate when stuff can't go in the dishwasher.

Paw Prints = Pawesome t-shirts!!

I have ordered this fabulous t-shirt, and am so excited I felt the need for a bit of shameless advertising!!! And some terrible punnery (is that a word?). By 'punnery' I refer to 'pawsome', but what the hell, I don'ts needs tos explains myselfs tos yous guys. Crikey, I've gone off on one today, must be that cheese I decided to gnaw on as a post-work snack.

Here is a picture of a Guinea Pig:



Now, clearly, this is NOT a t-shirt, but the website won't let me copy images or anything, so you'll have to wait until it arrives (or visit the site) to see a pic of the real thing. Strangely, I was drawn to the Guinea Pig, lord knows why, in the absence of a Pandah I guess that was the closest thing to it (?). Having given it some thought, I also decided to pick ones for all of you lot (fellow blog readers), based on what I know, or think I know about you already. Clearly I have too much time on my hands today. Anyway, here goes:

Pawpads - What else, the CAT! Especially as it looks kind of pissed off, you wouldn't even need to tell people to eff off!

Tim - Either the LION or the FOX, naturally. I'm thinking the LION though, despite your obvious FOXiness.

Skillz - This was tough, but I'm going with the DOG, as it looks cool, street-wise, and in control. Which is kinda like you I reckon, if he had a colllar with a barcode on it, we'd be sorted.

Ming AKA thetapeworm - I'd like to say CAT, but I'm veering towards GUINEA PIG. We're too similar you and I.

IDV - I'm going with FROG in the absence of a crow, just cos it seems witchy.

T-Bird - The LAMB or PIG, given your recent vow of vegetarianism.

As I said, I tried to bring up the pics, but it wouldn't let me, and Blogger struggles with my Mac at the best of times. So you'll just have to visit the site (top of the links list) yourselves, if you're even remotely interested in my random thoughts about what clothes you should all wear. And if half of you even still read my blog, given my slackings of late (bad iP, must be punished).

So there. I'll take a proper pic of mine when it arrives - YAY!

A poorly Pandah writes

I can't believe how going away for a wee while has put me behind the times. I've missed so much in the world of Blogdom, and it feels like a big party that everyone was invited to except me. Clearly, I must never go away again!

So, I wanted to blog on Friday night, as Hefty was out with his chums at a leaving do. His entire team is leaving to go to BT (as is he), so there's gonna be a few do's in the upcoming weeks. But, I was poorly, and in fact, have not been right all weekend :0( Have got a dicky tummy, for want of a better phrase, and I've been really sleepy.

Yesterday, we forced ourselves up so that we could drop off a card and present to my parents' (it's their 35th anniversary today) and take Hefty to get his hair cut. After we'd done that, we came home and I slept for the rest of the afternoon. I woke up at about half 6 and felt horrid. Uber sick. But I got up, and at half 7, SuperSaz and I headed out to get a Nando's takeaway, and check out her new car. She's got a purty new Golf, and it's super fly. We came back and ate, then she left at about 11ish and we went to bed (me and Hefty). We decided to watch 'Moondial' in bed, as my mate borrowed it from me aaagggges ago, and gave me it back on Friday, so it was out. Oh the hilarity of 80s children's programmes. Badly acted, badly scripted, pure genius! So we fell asleep to that, and this morning, we forced ourselves up AGAIN so we could go to Habitat. We saw lots of nice things, including a lampshade of the moon, which we're going to put in the games room, but we mainly wanted a kitchen. They had a nice one, but it was in too many bits, and we want a nice smooth seam-free worktop. So then we went o MFI, which I thought would be crap, and for the most part was, but the high spec stuff was quite nice, so we've decided on a nice oak one, with a Corian worktop, and a cool built-in Siemens espresso machine thang. Nice! Not sure when we're going to do this, we'll need to time it well, but the important thing is, we know what we want. Bonza!

Then I went to see my friend who had bought me this cool apple corer thing, which basically cuts up the whole apple for you, in a wickedace way! I can't eat apples like a normal person, if my lips come in to contact with the green bit (I only eat Granny Smiths) they swell up cos of the pesticides. You can't wash em off, and they don't do organic GS's so this is a good solution all round!!!

Then I came home and here I am. Might have to do some more sleeping, as I still feel a bit odd.

Would like to see Zodiac tomorrow, but Hefty's on-call, so once again, another Bank Holiday will be spent chained to the house, just in case :0(

We've decided to see it next Sunday, if it's still on, due to the length of it and the stupid show-times, and see Pirates this Wednesday. Hopefully neither will disappoint (Tim, you have led me to the conclusion that both will rock).

There appears to be eff-all on tv tonight as per usual, so we might have to dig out a DVD. I'm going to watch the repeat of Doctor Who though, as this week's looked quite good. Most of them are shit so I don't watch em, but a few are alright, Let's hope so!

It's a shame there aren't more virgin-themed shows on, as I've been enjoying those recently.

Oh well.

iP - bored, house-bound, poorly

Back!

Oh my hat! I feel like I've been gone forever!!

It's incredible what a few days in a random place (somewhere between the Dales, Lancashire and Cumbria) can do to a person. I feel like I've been in a time warp! I can't believe it's a week ago tomorrow since we went! Bizarre.

Anyhoo, so we went up last Friday to fabulous Kirkby Lonsdale, and had the best weekend ever! I don't feel, on this occasion, I should bore you with the details, because we didn't really do that much, just some walking and shopping and lots of eating.
We went up for my friend's 21st, which was on the Saturday night, and was cool, except for the smokers who were there. It got so bad, me and Hefty had to leave cos I couldn't stop sneezing (smoke does that to me, and combined with the hayfever I was already having, not a good mix) and both of us had really sore, red eyes. We got back to the hotel and felt like we were both 60 a day addicts. Felt pretty rough the next day too, but managed to fit in more shopping and eating. Hefty got shat on by a bird!! Poor Hefty :0( It was in this place with a garden, a coffee shop place, and we kept walking past it and he really wanted to go in. But of course, when we eventually did, the birds decided to congregate and poo everywhere. I just remarked that I knew there'd been a reason I hadn't fancied it in the first place, but hey.

So we had a super time, but now we're back, and I feel sad about this. Still, tomorrow is Friday, so it's more time off again for us!! And a BH too! Which I hate from a work perspective, but prefer from a being at home perspective.

In other news, my sister has had a boob job!! Went to see her tonight, it's weird!! She's gone from a 32A to a 32D!! They look weird, I don't have an edge over her anymore. Damn it.

Anyway, I'm off to bed, v.tired, just wanted to make my presence known again. Will write tomorrow night, am on me own as Hefty is off to a leaving do.

Ciao for now :0)

Some freaky ass shit bunny roosters!

Okay, I was going to blog tonight anyway, but now, I have a LOT more to say!

I'm a bit pushed for time due to the sudden huge amount of stuff to do I have recently acquired, so I'll make some brief points to get you up to speed:

- I spent all of last Thursday at school, got a lot done but not enough so I'm off again on Wednesday night. Forgot how fabulous the lunches are at private schools; had a wonderful vegetable moussaka, with sauteed potatoes, a bread roll, and apple and rhubarb crumble. Mmmmmm :0P

- Am having busiest time ever at work, bloody farmers, April is the end of the milk year, and is always an arse. It's not getting any better and we're halfway through May!

- Watched Flashback on Friday night, forgot what an AWESOME film it is. The Hopper/Sutherland dynamic RULES.

- Spent all day on Saturday shopping, not something I really do cos I'm not a fan. Was with my sister (who is getting a boob job on Friday) from 10am til half 12, then spent the rest of the day (til half 4) with my friend Emma. Primani rules, and I stocked up on cherry patterned items.

- Eurovision Song Contest - Had a takeaway and watched the delights. Finland was the only decent song, Hanna Pakarinen is my new idol, to add to the small but distinguished list of idols I have already. The other people on the 'list' are Amy Lee, Cristina Scabbia and Shirley Manson. Winner was crap though, not into Serbian lesbians really. Well, any lesbians to be honest.

- Spent Sunday feeling like I had a cold. Mostly t'internetted, looking for things to make me thin, before realising that I am quite thin really, I just have slightly chunky legs and a bit of a belly. Nothing ground-breaking though.

- Today, am SHATTERED, cos I hate work and Farmers.

Other points to note before I move onto the freaky ass shit:

- I have dreams that come true quite a lot, it's useful at times, I did once get 4 numbers on the Lottery. BUT, instances that came true this week were this bloke at work passing his driving test (didn't know he was even taking it, but I told him anyway), and West Ham staying up. The first thing was passable, but WHU staying up was NEVER going to happen if you'd asked most people. Course, we may yet go down (thanks Tevez), but the point is, initially we didn't.

- It's British Sandwich Week - get a sammich people, you owe it to your country!!!


Okay, so, the FREAKY ASS SHIT. It's frikkin Scientology man! WTF?!! I knew it was loopy, but tonight I watched Panorama, which only confirmed things I sort of knew. What I didn't realise was that if you speak out against them, they'll dig up and publish your medical and/or criminal records (how is that legal?), discourage people from talking to you, and follow you around in an attempt to scare the shit out of you!!!! But, it's NOT a cult apparently!!! Bunch of weirdos! I'm not surprised the BBC guy went mental at that Tommy fella, I'd have gone beyond shouting and landed a punch or two on the fucker!!! But, as Hefty pointed out, that's what he would have wanted, his sole purpose seemd to be to try and goad people into anger and shouting.

It was really creepy, cos as the BBC guy was screaming, the weirdo kept repeating the phrase 'Brainwashing is a humanitarian crime' over and over, in the same monotone voice, with his cold, soul-less eyes. Uh, makes me shudder. The conversation (for those of you who might have missed it) which set Mr BBC off, was when Mr Scientology said that Psychiatry was responsible for the Holocaust. Yeah, course it was!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!!! It does make me mad, especially cos Mr BBC was actually trying to make an objective documentary, which obviously (to rational non-sci people) involves BOTH sides of a story or argument. But because it wasn't just some propaganda shit for the Sci-Freaks, every time he spoke to people opposed to it, they turned up spouting their weird shit and just made themselves look like the bunch of loons they clearly are!!!

Worryingly, they're trying to get into this country, but so far, the Church of England (hey I'm not religious but at least it's a proper church and religion, the bible, however random in parts, was at least written by religious people, rather than a Sci-Fi mentalist tard) has said NO! About time, not reknowned for their strong opinions on stuff, but it's good to see the C of E standing their ground for once!! I mean whatever your view on religion, it's pretty obvious which ones are genuine, involving truly good people, and which ones are freaky ass CULTS! Even the Catholic church (my dad was Catholic, my mum C of E which = trouble) don't stalk you if you decide you're not interested anymore. It could be cos that guilt they instill in you from age 0, stays with you whatever happens, so they don't need to, but part of me thinks that really, they just think, meh. The C of E are, let's face it (it's no secret), a little more relaxed about these matters, so even if they don't agree with you, they're not going to follow you round the streets in a Land Rover making sure you don't speak to anyone!!

It's weird, random, and un-necessary!! And it makes me hate Tom Cruise even more than I already do, and I really REALLY hate him!!!

So erm, yes, that's what I have to say about things today. I'm currently watching something about a man whose arms exploded, before I move on to the programme about teen boob jobs.

Good god, is it any wonder the world is full of nutters.

I'm going to blame TV, then go and watch it.

Bye now.

NB - The picture is of Hanna P

NB2 - I realise the title may have led you to believe that it's 'bunny roosters' that are some freaky ass shit. This is not the case, I just, felt that money funsters wasn't appropriate.

Yay the Hefty!

Ooh it's been another hellish week! I've finished late every night this week, I hate month end. Have been coming home and going to sleep, NO motivation at all!

Anyhoo, BH was good. We sped down to Ma and Pa Hefty's on Saturday afternoon and got there just in time for dinner. Good timing!! The Hefty bros were home too, so there was plenty of abuse flying back and forth, all in good humour of course! We just chatted really, and caught up on the news (family news, not world news), before watching CSI:NY and then some programme about Eurovision (ooh that's this weekend, I'm going to have a party!). On Sunday we went to a place called Calke Abbey, which is a big old house and some other buildings. We mainly walked round, saw some old machinery, saw some lambs, then had a spot of lunch in the restaurant. Naturally it was highly over-priced, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and pay. Then I went round the gift shop (I love gift shops!) which was cool, but I'm poor and only managed to come away with a book about 1930s etiquette for ladies. An amusing book though, well worth the coinage.
We left at about 9pm, though had to go back again after an hour as Hefty had left his coat! We got home at about 12.30am, very tired, and went to bed. I then woke up at 4am and started being sick. REALLY sick. Random. Haven't been sick for ages. Was fine afterwards though, I'm so weird.

On Monday we watched Kickboxer, and marvelled at it's ridiculousness. Then we watched a programme about obedient wives on channel 5. Hilarious! But disturbing. This one woman just had massive to do lists every day, and her and her husband were uber Christians, so she kept going on about god and the bible! She looked really miserable though, and I'm not surprised! It was all a bit weird, I don't agree with one person telling the other what to do and the other just doing it and never voicing an opinion. That's not a marriage!!! Punks. Course it came from America, where else?! Chunky!

On Tuesday, Hefty had an interview for a wickedace job that pays phenomenally well! And today, we learned that he got it!! Well done the Hefty!! You make me so proud, bless you! Don't forget I want my reg and some Davidoff Wave! ;0)

So that's good news! At last!

Am off into school tomorrow to work on the newsletter, so free lunch for me! Yay! Not sure what we're going to put in it. I hope the others have managed to glean some info on old girls, or we'll be stumped! Ooh, though I just found out that one of my friends had a baby last week, called Hugo! Babies, they're everywhere! Me and JT are going to have babies at the same time, as we can't work without each other! We discovered today that even our lady cycles are exactly in sync, which means we're destined to be ladies who lunch together! Brill! I love JT, she rules!!

And I think that may be it for my news......umm....ooh, West Ham might stay up? Maybe? I hope....

Stuff

Yesterday was criminally busy! JT and I didn't stop all day! I hate days like that, and the whole week seems to have gone that way, rubbish!

Last night, SuperSaz came over for one of our Chinese + DVD evenings. The Chinese was fab, we never got round to the DVD though, as we got embroiled in a conversation about the trials and tribulations of our lives. Hefty fell asleep watching Peep Show, and went up to bed. We didn't end up bidding adieu until half past one! So I'm a little tired today....yawn....

Today we're off to Ma and Pa Hefty's for the weekend. Well, we're staying tonight and coming back tomorrow night, but it's sort of the whole weekend. It'll take us about 2 hours or so to get there, which is probably the worst bit. Not sure what plans they have in store for us, will have to fill you in later!

In other news, Paris Hilton's going to prison! Citin! Not sure how that's going to go, will be glued to the updates I'm sure! Random. Should do her some good though. You would hope anyway.

In another moment of Virgin excellence, I managed to purchase Batman for 3 squid, and Kickboxer for 2! Those Virgin sales just keep getting better! I never thought I'd see the day you could buy a DVD for £2.00!

Ooh, I got a new phone, a Nokia 7373, which is twisty and stuff, kinda cool. I'm liking it anyway!

So that's about it. No developments on the 'other' front. I'm just carrying on as usual. Not sure if she is, haven't really noticed. To be honest, got a quite a lot on my mind, so it's not top of my agenda. We shall see anyway.

Have a good BH people, I'll post when I return.

Ciao.

Paranoia

Today, I got paranoia about my last post. So I deleted it. But you all know the score, so I'm not regretting it yet!!! Course, it may already be too late.....who knows?!

Can't write much, I'm at work and all I have to say is that I'm busy! Will try and write tonight though, see what the rest of the day brings!