Hmmmm-ness

My god, I totally lost my blogging mojo. I didn't realise how long it was since I last wrote anything, and now I know, I wish I'd never looked!

The dregs of 2008 were pretty shitty to be honest, and I didn't feel like doing an awful lot in general, let alone getting on here to scribble it all down. I had a horrendous hospital experience where I thought I was going to die, and actually saw someone else pop their clogs instead, and then took aaaaaages to recover, mentally and physically.

I can honestly say, I could have happily skipped Christmas, as I didn't feel in the least bit festive (not like me), so much so, the decorations (which normally go up from 1st Dec and come down midnight on 6th Jan) didn't even get up til the 10th or something ridiculous. Despite the fact Waitrose started selling the good Egg Nog that I usually have to import from the US, thus meaning I could get as much as I wanted, when I wanted, instead of having to be organised and order enough for the whole month, it was all I could do to crack it open. In fact, there's still a tin of it left in the cupboard, and half a jugful that was decanted about a week ago (really should pour that away). The funeral I went to on Christmas Eve didn't do much to lift my spirits, and I'm ashamed to say, that despite my attempts, I was a total Scrooge this Christmas (though in a slightly less tight way).

I am unmotivated people, UTTERLY. I am currently going through one of my insomnia phases, something I also did a lot of last October and November. If I could use the time productively and be all creative and stuff, I'm sure it'd be pretty radical, but I just feel uninspired and unmotivated. I have now been up since 3am (my body's current favourite time to wake up), but only went to bed at 1am, so I anticipate another day of feeling and looking both rough and sick! Last night, I tried sleeping tablets, which, unbelievably, kept me WIDE AWAKE til 5am! Which is worse than usual! I at least get a couple of hours in before my brain wakes up, so this was ridiculous! Thought because of this, I'd sleep better tonight, but it clearly wasn't to be.

Meh.

God this sounds like such a moany depressing rant. Apologies. Still, if you can't write what you feel on your own blog then where can you do it. I'll try and be more positive, witty and generally amusing (I'm sure I used to be) from now on, though I guess the total lack of sleepage isn't helping any.

I can't even think of a picture to put up, which is most uncharacteristic. Hmmm, well, I'm currently reading Watchmen, so I may as well stick that up, as I think it's a pretty good cover.

Right.

*slaps self round face with slippers in an attempt to extract some positivity and optimism!

I'm going to see if I can find a DVD to put on that might make me sleeeeeeepy. All attempts have failed so far this week, but I keep searching for the one that can send me off into the Dreamzone. It could happen.

iP