Half-time

Well I'm mid-way and I have to say, it certainly looks more black than orange. Promising. One downside, the stupid gloves they have provided are too small for my man hands, and the left one split as I was dying. At first, I thought the purpley black mark between my thumb and finger was the zombification process beginning. Then the penny dropped. It's not easy being this smart.

Farewell to the orange

I'm about to dye my hair. I hope it comes out brownish black. I can't take much more of this nutmeg head I've acquired. I look like a freakin orangutan.

The Red Headed League

Last night, we went to see Rocky Balboa again. Man, I love that film. I love Rocky, I love fighting, I love Stallone! It was a very emotional experience, I shed a tear or two throughout, and was very tempted to give him a standing ovation at the end. I refrained, probably for the best. I suspect that kind of thing would be cool in America, but here, just plain shameful.

Today I had another fantastic vomiting episode at work. I was sent home and booked into the doctors. The doctor was quite possibly the most un-doctor-like doctor in the world. I got the impression he didn't give a shit, wasn't really listening, and was wondering who I was and what the hell I was doing there (then again, aren't all doctors like that?). Anyway, after many an comfortable silence, he furnished me with some drugs and sent me on my way. My sickness episodes are getting ridiculous now. I feel sick at some point EVERY day, especially at night when I should be sleeping. I still haven't heard back from the hospital about my operation, so I really don't know what's going on, and whether any of these symptoms I have are related in any way. I hope these new tablets do some good. I have to take them three times a day, which is, I feel, a little excessive. Then again, I'm sick about three times a day, so maybe there's method in that there madness.

I sat in bed most of the day watching my SH boxed set. Brilliant. I fell asleep a few times but that's to be expected. I can sleep anywhere, any time, so in bed whilst watching a DVD is unlikely to be out of the question. I have now got up to eat some food. Hefty is preparing a tasty classic dish of his, hopefully I'll have the appetite to eat it.

Oh, I dyed my hair again the other night. Trying to keep up with my roots is a battle and a half. Blonde hair sucks anyway, but when it's still ruining your hair after you've dyed it brown, it really pisses you off. Anyway, when I went to Boots, they didn't have the colour I usually use, so I went for the next one in the series. It was called 'Cappuccino Brown', I usually have 'Mocha Brown'. Well, my 'Cappuccino' is more like a Gingerbread Latte. It's frikkin RED all over!! What's that got to do with frothy coffee?!! I suspect it's cos of my rubbish blonde hair, but I am, never the less, NOT amused. So I went to buy another one yesterday, and they only had two dark brown ones on the shelf, the rest were blonde! Two of the brand I use I should point out. They had other brands, but I have become rather fond of Garnier Nutrisse. So, not really knowing about these things but refusing to go back to my hairdresser ripping-off days, I bought another brand, with the rather less exciting, un-coffee-like title of 'Natural Dark Brown.' Meh, sounds good to me, less poncey at any rate. I've gone for a darker one than usual because I need to counteract the red. I thought about just getting black, but Hefty is concerned that, despite my claims of being a Demi Goth, I'm actully turning into a proper Goth. I thought my coming home with a black dye might confirm his worst fears, so I'm crossing my fingers that L'Oreal Excellence Cream is dark enough to do the trick. Will keep you posted.

We're going to SuperSaz's on Saturday night, for food and entertainment. Looking forward to a change of scenery. As much as I love my house, I feel like I haven't left it for ages cos of my stupid sickness bouts. I'm certainly too familiar with the characteristics in the bathroom. This kind of knowledge only comes when you spend 85% of your time sat looking into/across/around a lavatory bowl. Thank heavens for the Alessi toilet brush we bought a couple of years ago. It looks like a plant, and provides a good focal point for me inbetween hurls.

Right, dinner is served. G'bye.

And now for something completely different

This, is Teddy Potter. Teddy Potter is 30 years old and has been eaten slightly by meeces. Despite this, he is still smiling, and is a reminder to us all that however bad we think stuff is, it probably isn't. Even if the mice get us now and then, we've still got smiles and a nice scarf. Thus, every time I feel I need reminding of this fact, I'm going to post a picture of TP and think myself lucky. Thank you Teddy Potter, you are an inspiration to us all.



'Teddy Potter Time' in association with iPandah Productions of Life.

Elementary

Thought I should do some blogging, especially as I have a blog, otherwise there probably aint no point.

Hello! Last week was tres eventful, hence my slacking. A highlight included buying 'Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Collection' for only £42.99 from HMV, when its RRP is £119.99. They've put the price back up to that now, but I don't care cos I've already got it! It's the Jeremy Brett version, for anyone who cares, and will look very pretty next to my Basil rathbone Complete Sherlock Holmes Collection. I should point out that I have a Sherlock Holmes obsession, and have multiple copies of the same books with different covers. It's a compulsion, like in 'Conspiracy Theory' where Mel Gibson has to buy a copy of 'Catcher In The Rye' if he sees one. I'm clearly weird, but I don't care, it's a healthy obsession when you can get a 16 disc DVD boxed set for 80 squids less than you should have. I also bought Evil Dead 2 for £3.99, another bargain I feel.

I was sent on an Excel course on Thursday and Friday, simply because the girl who should have gone on it, is off sick after going to India for two weeks over Christmas. She has three different infections and parasites in her stomach. Nice. So anyway, I was sent instead cos otherwise we'd get charged £200 for nothing. Imagine the cheek of charging that for an Excel course anyway, especially the one I was on as it turned out. Alas, my colleague has a very basic grasp of Excel, so I was on a complete beginners course. I had hoped to learn something, obviously not being a fan of Microsoft products, my knowledge of them is also limited, but as I also use it every day, teaching me anything was not going to happen. I already know how to insert cells, cut, copy and paste, and use autosum. Sigh. So I spent two days bored shitless. One advantage was that as it was in the city and ran from 9.30am to 4.00pm, I parked at Hefty's office, and we walked in and sat in Pret a Manger for an hour having breakfast both days. Finishing earlier than work is also a bonus, and I perused l'internet all day whilst he taught the chimps from the dairy over the road how to do their jobs. As they make my life miserable by knowing NOTHING, I hope some of it sank in. They didn't speak to me as they knew I was a Head Office bod, but meh, I didn't care, didn't particularly want to fraternise with those punks anyway.

So that was that. On Saturday, I met my sister and the Biz for some shopping. I got home later than planned and fell asleep watching one of my many SH DVDs. I woke up wondering what was going on, then we ate food and watch Evil Dead 2. On Sunday we had to go out with my Grandpa and his wife. It was okay, but we had to choose off a set menu, and I clearly picked the wrong thing. Also, my sis and co were supposed to come, but the Biz has chicken pox!! It's not going down well, she's spotty and irritable and has taken to growling like a dinosaur. She's in quarantine too so both her and my sis are bored with being house-bound!!!

So it seems to have been a busy old time, and I've been too tired to do any blogging, which isn't really an excuse but it's the one I'm using.

I do have a couple of things I'd like to comment on. I'm leaving out the BRASHness, as I fear my new-found aggression has scared people off reading this!! So I'm now going to call this section, 'Things that really are quite beastly, do you have any Pimms?' Or something.

Ahem.


Jade - Please PLEASE can this be the last we hear of her. I'm not amused by her lack of intelligence or class, and frankly her face offends me.

Dorset - What is wrong with these people? Have they really nothing better to do than travel 100 miles to pick nappies up off a beach? And do they not realise that posing for photos is stoopid? We now know who you all are you fools!! And will avoid you in case you try to steal our belongings because you think they're entitled to them. I don't care if you have a form, get off my car.

The government - I've had enough of you for too many reasons to list now. I'm emigrating somewhere else. To a country where you don't get the most out of it by being a sponger. To a country where the 40% tax Hefty gets taken off him, might actually go to benefit us rather than lazy chavs. Puh. You're a bunch 'o bastards, I'm feckin' off.


So that's me, though I'm about to post something else. But that's it for this bit.

Ciao for now :0)

iP

Meh

See, I was even too lazy to finish yesterday's blog. It's clearly the way I mean to go on for the rest of 2007. To be honest, dinner was super, but then I was dying of thirst, and we had NOTHING to drink AT ALL, save for humble tap water, so we had to walk to the shop and stock up on juices. After that, we watched Army Of Darkness again, deciding that it would look much better on the B&O than it did on the TV upstairs where we watched it the other night. It did, but then we went to bed, and as I drifted off I thought, shit, I never finished my blog. So here I am you swines, take it or leave it.

I watched Rocky Balboa today, which was a triumph, and inspired me to dig out my anthology. We were going to watch Rocky 4 tonight, but time has run away with us and we're opting for Terminator 3 instead. I am just consuming a vanilla latte and chip sandwich, I must be the only person I know not on a diet. Except for Ming, I don't reckon he will be either, very sensible.

Here are today's BRASH STATEMENTS:

- YES! Clearly sacking Alan Pardew was a GREAT decision because look at us now! Chelsea had better WATCH out, we'll be taking over the WORLD at this rate!!!!

- NO! Eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast and lunch over two weeks is NOT going to make you thin! More importantly, it means LESS to NO MILK for the rest of us in work who know full well it won't work! It's an advertising ploy to make you buy more cereal you FRIKKIN MORONS!

- Somebody PLEASE SILENCE the annoying kid on that Glade advert. SHUT the FRACK UP KID! What do you care if the air freshener has all gone, until recently you were shitting in your own pants anyway! And let's face it, if you were smart enough to take a notepad and pen in there with you (WTF?!) surely you'd have noticed it had run out!


So I guess the iP of 2007 is angry and lazy. I'm not sure if I should be worried or proud. Hmm.

Lazy TV

I have taken my laziness to new heights recently, adapting my skill to television. I have begun to a new method with certain programmes whereby I only tune in for the last ten minutes. With shows like Ten Years Younger, Property Ladder and You Are What Youo Eat, this works wonders, as I see the before and afters, without having to sit through the participants' struggles. With Celebrity Big Brother (not a programme I usually watch at all, but I was off ill when it began and there was nothing else on at the time), I simply watch Russell Brand's Big Mouth Show. I figure, anything Russell finds to be of interest, is likely to be the same thing I would find to be of interest, so I don't need to sit through all of that "It's 10.38 in the Big Brother house, and Jermaine is polishing his face." This also works with the news, as they very kindly provide summaries, though I can also use t'internet for that, so even less effort is involved. I don't watch a great deal of TV in the first place, as there aint really much on I'm in to. But it pleases me that if there is something on I might consider, I only have to spend a few minutes of my time watching it. I'm looking to apply this skill to other areas of my life, but as of yet, nothing has come up that seems appropriate. Tsk. I shall persevere.

So Night At The Museum was pretty good. The all star cast meant that I hardly noticed Stiller, so he didn't offend me too much. The child in it was both weird (in looks and manner) and annoying, but everyone else (even the highly irritating Robin Williams) was marvellous. Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan triumphed in their roles, and Dick Van Dyke was his usual brilliant self. It's definitely worth seeing. Next on our list is Apocalypto, and some other stuff but I can't remember.

Ooh, my dinner is ready, I shall return shortly and finish off my posting.

I know I can save as draft, but I'm too lazy. Meh.

Three Fs

Tonight we are going to see A Night At The Museum. I must point out that I HATE HATE HATE Ben Stiller, but Dick Van Dyke's in it, and I like the premise, so we're going to give it a go. Always a good idea to give films a go on Orange Wednesday. Then, if the film's shit, you've only paid £3.00 each instead of £7.00 which is extortionate.

Today I was criminally busy so I'll probably fall asleep at the cinema, but I'm going to try not to. Hefty has been off today so he's somewhat refreshed. I'm hoping the spaghetti and meatballs he's prepared for dinner will wake me up. Hmm.

So that's my day. Fatigue, food and films, a potentially winning combination.

Recoverance

Okay, so I'm getting there. Still feel pretty shit but I normally do so I'm guessing that means I'm back to normal. I've spent 5 days in bed, and just slept really, inbetween watching Aeon Flux (again), Russell Brand Live, V for Vendetta, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (again) and Mighty Boosh 1 & 2. I never got round to Futurama, maybe next time. Perhaps when I have my operation thing, whenever that's going to be. I have decided that I want Aeon Flux hair now. Blue/black in a funky short bob. It'll look pants though so I'm going to stick with my demi-goth look for now.

I have decided to make BRASH STATEMENTS as part of my NY resolutions thingy. So here are today's BRASH STATEMENTS.


- I HATE Alan Curbishley. I DEMAND you bring back Alan Pardew you SWINES!

- George Bush needs DESTROYING. Perhaps fire him into SPACE, with Tony Blair strapped to his ARSE where he belongs.

- January is SHIT. Let's skip it and get straight to April. Or, just make January to the end of March a national holiday. DO IT!


I'm not sure how brash these statements are, but it was the first phrase that came to mind so it'll have to do.

Today I got a free 500g tub of Lurpak. WOOT. Tomorrow, free Cravendale. Let the cows try and take it back, I'll kick their uddery asses to kingdom come.

Blimey. I have developed an angry streak. I'm off to watch Army of Darkness before I kill anyone.

Ill

Ill, been off ill since Wednesday, feel horrid, must sleep. Am dizzy and sick, it's horrid, and this is hurting my eyes and making my headache worse. Must sleep.

Happy New Year

It's been a strange week. Was supposed to go back to work on Wednesday afternoon as I had a hospital appointment in the morning. As I managed to faint before I'd even got in to see the specialist, I had to have loads of tests and stuff, the end result being my getting out so late, it wasn't worth going back to work. I have to have an operation some time in the next six months (good old NHS) which will involve my stomach being cut open, gas being blown in, people with cameras, and one, or maybe two, weeks off work. I am planning on purchasing the complete set of Open All Hours, as the three days immediately afterwards, I will be confined to my bed. So that's that.

Work was a complete waste of time. Pointless. Frustratingly so. Phuh.

Hefty's family descended upon us on Saturday for the weekend. The clan consists of his parents and two brothers. The house was certainly full! Good job we have four bedrooms and three floors ey! It was fun, but hard work, and when it came to yesterday evening when we were finally on our own, we were knackered. Didn't really want to stay up for NY stuff. Hate it anyway, who wants to celebrate January? It means a whole nother year til my birthday and Christmas, which is just shit frankly. Anyways, we had agreed to go over to our neighbours, for a take-away and quiet evening in. This was precisely what we got, and was great! We were all flagging by about 11pm, but forced ourselves to stay up. That bloody Kaplinski woman is on every goddam programme ever, and I'm sick of her. Her presence on the NY countdown show was, like every other thing she's on, pointless. And she looked awful, which makes it worse.

Today, we did NOTHING. The first day of rest we've had since Christmas began!! And we needed it. We got up late, ate pancakes, watched Supergirl, Garth Marenghi with commentary, and ate some more stuff. Tonight we're going to watch Serenity, which may inspire me to watch the series of Firefly again. I wish I had the rest of the week off to spend my days like this. It rules. Strangely, I feel less depressed today than I did on Boxing Day though, which is all very odd. I do think we should have a Boxing Day for NY too though, like they get in Scotland. Especially as tomorrow is Sherlock Holmes day on ITV3. It's not fair! Why wasn't it today!! Grrr.

Anyway, so that's stuff and things. Happy New Year folks, let's hope it's as interesting and varied as the last one.

iP

Boxing Day Blues

I am so depressed now :0( I hate when Christmas ends. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I had the rest of the week off, but cos I don't, I've got the Sunday Night Blues again. Had a good Christmas it has to be said. First things first, the gift list.

Ahem:

A Nintendo DS Lite in White (so Apple-esque - didn't see that one coming, brilliant!)
A Talking Nev (Yay!)
Complete Eddie Izzard Boxed Set
Russell Brand Live DVD
Waterskiing Dogs Calendar
Book about why animals do strange and curious things
Selection of coffees
An Origami Desk Calendar (as in, you make something every day out of paper, the calendar itself isn't made of it)
White Chocolate Orange (the ONLY chocolate I've had)
Some other random stuff which was cool but to list wouldn't make for very good reading.

So I did pretty well. The lunchbox that looks like a Lego brick and ice cube tray that makes Lego brick ice cubes went down well with Hefty. How could such items not?!! I also got him a DC Comics book, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Blade Runner....erm, other stuff I can't remember. God my memory's crap. Fortunately, I have Dr Kawashima's Brain Training for the DS. Unfortunately, Hefty's on it because he's now addicted to Sudoku. My brain is currently in its 40s according to the test I did earlier. A bit worrying when you're not even 30. I put it down to the time of year, day, anything really. I'll get the better of that pesky Kawashima one day.

So we didn't do much on Saturday. On Sunday, naturally we had to watch Nev on TV, who was a triumph as always. We watched The Muppet Christmas Carol in the evening, with egg nog, home-made by me! Not sure it counts as cooking, everything is technically raw, but it involved electric whisks and stuff so I'm counting it.

On Chrimbo Day we had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast, very nice, a break from the usual Costco croissants we tend to ply ourselves with. We got ready and went to my sister's for the day. Biz was on top form, though at sixteen months, still doesn't really get the concept of presents. She didn't understand why there were so many toys and why they were all for her, so she ignored them and played with her old ones. She was flippin loud, I was sat next to her at the table and she kept shouting which deafened me after a while. The food was grand but I wasn't hungry!! Can you believe it!! Me and my stupid stomach. So I didn't eat much, but didn't care so, meh. We got home quite late and watched Glorius (By Eddie Izzard for any folk who have nuh idearrr). Then went to bed and put on Definite Article, so we were Eddied out by this morning. Today we cooked our own feast. Well, Hefty did. I don't cook, I clear up, so that's the way it worked!! We had a guest today though, my best friend Kattya's Mum SarahMum (called so because when Kattya and I used to leave notes to her from us, we'd always write Sarah/Mum, to make sure we had addressed her correctly from both angles) came to share the goods. Hefty's food was a triumph, he is a genius, I don't know how he does it but I'm glad I married him!! SarahMum had a lovely time, and it was nice for us all to be together and chat. She brought us plants for the house too, so we'll get em planted in a tub or something this weekend, which should give our garden a new lease of life.

So now I'm sat wishing I didn't have to go to work tomorrow. I know I'll be alright once I get there but it doesn't make you want to go any more. I might eat in a minute, not out of hunger, out of greed. Which is allowed at this time of year. I'm quite scared though cos I have to go to hospital tomorrow morning to be poked and prodded so they can decide whether I've got Endometriosis or not. Great. That'll be fun, not exactly festive is it? It's probably the reason I'm so depressed. HATE hospitals, doctors, anything like that. But I need sorting out so I shall reluctantly go :0(

Oh I wish it was Christmas Eve again. I hate this. Might watch Garth to cheer me up. If Hefty can tear himself away from Sodoku.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody! Hope it's a good one!

Love iP x

Let me out

I am currently most distressed.

This week, I have been uber busy. We had Monday off and braved the city, which was hellish, more because the weather was so poor. I hate half-arsed rain, you get wet but don't realise til you've got in a shop. Anyway I got some last minute stuff but was quite traumatised by the time I got home and just wanted to sleep.

Tuesday saw the arrival of Nabaztag!! He's a pretty cool dude, gives us traffic news, chats about stuff, his lights flash. That's as far as we've got really, need to get him doing more stuff, but we've had too much other gubbins to do!! On Tuesday night we went out with SuperSaz to Nando's, which was chicken-tastic. Then we had gingerbread lattes from Starbucks. It was kind of late when we got home, so I put some Boosh on and snoozed whilst Hefty fiddled with le bunny (who we have named 'Nimonikku' - Japanese for something or other).

On Wednesday, our new addition to the family started shouting and flashing his lights at 5am! Turned out he was still on French time (his homeland), but I couldn't sleep after that so got up. I spent the whole day feeling sick and wanting to go to sleep. I was not happy with Nimonikku for this behaviour, but I suppose it wasn't really his fault. That night, we went to an actual supermarket instead of relying on our on-line deliveries. A brand spanking new Sainsbury's beckoned, and we got some random stuff, but I couldn't tell you what simply because it was so random. We then stopped off at SarahMum's place of work, to give her some Christmassy gubbins. SarahMum is my best friend Kattya's mum, and I have known her for about 20 years I reckon. She is like a second mum to me and Hefty, she's great!! We didn't get home til about 10pm though, and I was shattered! But slept terribly, so......

.....on Thursday I was ridiculously tired again and just wanted to sleep all day. Work was totally unproductive, but after it had finished, I had to go out YET AGAIN to Costco!! We bought some wicked cheeses and stuff, but it did me in, and when we got home, I had to go straight to bed. Nimonikku did some talking and light flashing, but I was too tired to pay much attention.

Today, is Friday, which would normally be a good thing, but isn't. Which leads me to why I'm distressed. Everyone in the business is finishing at 3pm today, except for Milk Buying!! We have to stay because of the Farmer Emergency Line!! We have to be here to man the phones until 5pm when the poor soul who's on call takes over. But, I have absolutely NOTHING to do!! I mean yes, I could do some stuff, but it can wait, and I have zero motivation, so we've basically been sat here all day waiting for 5pm :0( On the plus side, JT bought me Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD, and she got me the soundtrack to it! So I'll watch that tomorrow, as well as Santa Claus: The Movie and Supergirl, which will be trick. Got to dye my hair again tomorrow though too, as my roots are quite bad, and given that they're blonde, it doesn't look too sexy.

We did have a buffet at work today, which should have been exciting. They put one on every year, but it wasn't that great this time. It was kind of greasy, and there was nothing with cheese in it!! Rubbish! So I'm bored, distressed, and want to go home.

Only 3 hours to go I guess.............sigh........

Hefty's Birthday

It's Hefty's birthday today!! Alas, the Nabaztag/tag that I ordered for him did not arrive in time. It is however (allegedly) arriving on Tuesday, so I suppose we'll at least have it before Christmas, which is better than nothing. I could have easily got him the normal Nabaztag (Armenian for 'rabbit' don't 'cha know), but the new one is so utterly awesome, it had to be that one. To compensate, he got a Star Trek mug, The Dark Crystal DVD, some nuts (I was struggling) and some cheese made by some people with the same surname as us. I printed the info for le bunny off Firebox (in colour no less) and wrapped that up. He was ecstatic, and doesn't at all mind that he's getting it two days late. Unfortunately, amongst other things, his folks (who came up from Staffordshire yesterday) bought him the new Stephen Fry General Ignorance book, which I had purchased for Christmas. So I don't know what I'm going to do with it now. I'm thinking of going on Freecycle, but what I get in return might be rubbish, so I'm stuck for ideas. Anyone fancy a barter?
We went to an uber authentic Italian restaurant last night, and had a fabulous meal, before coming home and watching one of those ubiquitous '100 Greatest....' programmes. We're off tomorrow, and are going to brave the City. It could be the wrost idea we've had, but since the fancy scented Christmas cards that I ordered haven't come, I need cards for my family. Plus, stamps, for all the cards I STILL haven't posted because I'm rubbish sometimes.
Ooh, miracle of miracles, West Ham beat Man U today. Must be a fluke. Am very confused. And still want Pards back.
Am going to buy a book called 'Why penguins feet don't freeze' tomorrow, because someone at work got it in Secret Santa and it looks awesome. I shall use vouchers I got for my birthday. Brilliant! Free books! Essentially. It's my big boss's birthday today too. My boss and I bought him a Wee Me mug, hope he likes it. The resemblance was uncanny. He says 'effectively' a lot, so we got 'Effectively' Jeff's Mug put on it. Hopefully he'll see the funny side. Can't see why he wouldn't. After all, he let me have Rod Hull Day. I'll tell you on Tuesday.

If I still have a job.

Tired beyond belief

I am so tired. So very, very tired. So tired, I am going to have list my activities this week, because the idea of collating them in to proper sentences scares the bejesus out of me.

1. The Wii is phenomenal. I haven't had a proper go on it yet cos I'm too tired, but Hefty is loving it.

2. My Christmas party was pretty cool, though the food was a bit crap. I spent the evening hanging with Super Saz and JT. Then I spoke to someone who had been really ill, and smelled of sick. I didn't like to tell him this though, so I just co-ordinated my breathing so that I didn't have to smell it. I got to bed at about 1.30am, and got up at 6.00am. This is why I am so tired.

3. I had a day off and went to see my sister and Biz. My mother and Grandparents were there. It was alright, though my mother is rather annoying as all she does is talk about herself. Then my sister and Biz and I went shopping. We had a lovely lunch at M&S and I bought some random gubbins, including a musical biscuit tin.

4. I hit my head (just above the eye) on my car door getting shoes out. It's bruised, and frikkin hurts.

5. We did Secret Santa at work and somebody bought me Supergirl on DVD. Awesome!!

6. JT bought Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD for me, and I picked up Santa Claus the movie for £5.00.

7. My uber-brilliant-fab birthday present for Hefty will NOT be arriving in time, despite them originally promising I'd get it on the 13th December. 22nd now they reckon. Yeah, that's gonna happen. Punks.

7. We now have Alan Curbishley as our manager. I don't want him. If we win, great, but I still don't like him or want him, despite his history.

8. Tomorrow I am going out for lunch with Ming. Looking forward to it, as though I talk to him a fair bit, it's a while since we went on a social sojourn together.

9. I am sick of hearing about Diana. It was 10 years ago, if you don't know what happened by now then you never will. Either way, I don't care, I'm just sick of hearing about it.

10. Hefty's parents are coming up at the weekend. We are trying a new Italian restaurant out. I hope it's good. Plus, I'm hungry. I'm planning on eating before then though.

I need to go to sleep now, or I may never function properly again. Not that I ever really did.

iP Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................

Wii

Today we got the Wii. So I'm off to play it. But not after I've stated my devastation at the sacking of Alan Pardew. What a strange mix of emotions I'm feeling. Wii joy, Pards despair. Oh cruel, cruel world.

Random ramblings

This week I have been off, had the boiler fixed, cleaned like a maniac, wrapped presents, written some cards, and slept a lot due to being uber tired. Today, I am being paranoid because some f*cker has been using my credit card details to buy coach tickets and shop in Argos!!! Argos of all places!!!! So now there is a fraud team somewhere out there working on my case. I have a case! Brilliant. Let's hope Jessica Fletcher's heading it up, I want that pesky thief caught and punished!!! West Ham lost spectacularly yesterday, looks like we're heading dahn sarf again. Joy. On the plus side, last night Hefty and I watched the Mighty Boosh Live DVD that I got for my birthday. It was wickedace! How I love the Boosh, and it made up for us missing seeing them live, which was my fault cos I got stuck in Leicester with work.

The Jonotron left the UK again yesterday :0( He's going for a few years this time! Most traumatic. He nearly didn't make it cos he over-slept, and only woke up because someone rang him. He doesn't change. So that's it. No idea when I'll see him again, but it's all a bit weird and I want him to come back already. He has faithfully promised not to develop any common sense though, as I need to know that there's someone else out there who thinks like I do. The fact that he promised proves my point, as how can you promise something that might change? Clearly it won't change. Now I'm confusing myself, which means I, at least, have remained the same.

It may be a busy week, as I have to go to Sainsbury's (an actual shop, I missed out on a slot this week for online), drop by my folks' house, pay another visit to Costco, AND go on my work Christmas party. Looking forward to it actually, not something I usually do but it looks promising this year. It's at a beautiful stately home hotely place, one I visited many times when my friend South African Caryn was staying there. Alas she won't be there, but there will be plenty of other interesting types there, and the menu is tres appetising. You know where you are with a posh country house type place, and it's going to look well festive, so I'm looking forward to it. Super Saz is going to stay at mine so she can get drunk. She promises not to throw up in Flexo, so if she does, I shall have to think of a suitable punishment. Death might be a good one to start with.

I have to just vent about something quickly. I wish people would stop going on about MySpace. It looks shit, is shit, and every bugger and his wife doesn't need to be on it to feel some sense of worth. The fact that the repulsive Lily Allen has one should be enough to make any dumbass realise it's crap. There. Had to get that out cos I'm sick of hearing about it.

It's Hefty's birthday next Sunday, so I'm very excited!! I'll have to tell you what I got him afterwards though, cos if he reads this I'm buggered! Really desperate people can email me on pizzapandah at google mail dot com if necessary, but I'm not sure many people read this so I can't imagine interest being terribly high. Suffice to say, it's trick, and I hope he likes it.

I'm off to the co-op now to buy something random to eat, as I'm feeling random. It's windy as hell out there but, meh, when you're feeling random, you may as well act random.

My birthday!

Today was my birthday! Yay!! It was kind of random in parts. Got some cool pressies, Mighty Boosh DVDs, a watch, a wickedace top from South African Caryn that says "Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Kills People", some other stuff I can't remember. My sister came round with Biz, entertaining as always. She made a beeline for the Christmas tree but we quickly got her away from it. She threw a right paddy when Hefty made a paper hat out of some wrapping and put it on her head. Oh the hilarity. Then, after they left, we thought we could smell gas. Called the gas people, they came and condemned the boiler!!! It's leaking gas like a bastard!! Luckily, as the house is only 5 months old, we don't have to pay for it, but it meant we couldn't really go out cos we had to wait around in case someone came to replace it. They didn't. Punks. So anyway, my friend came round and we ate cakes. Then, Hefty and I ate some nice food, not just any food, M&S food, as the advert goes. It was very nice, except I hadn't considered that a Steak and Ale pie would have the same effect on me as a shot of vodka. I broke out in a right rash!! Rubbish! I'm still itching now which is highly irritating (no pun intended). I also feel a bit sick now, hope I'm not in for a rough night....
West Ham lost spectacularly today, good job it's only the FA Cup. Doubt we're heading for the final this year though.
God I'm so tired. This is a bit of a disjointed entry, apologies, I'm just shattered, and as I said, it's been a funny day. I'd like to force myself to eat birthday cake, but I don't dare.
My friend has dried our washing for us seeing as our heating is off. She's coming over in a minute so I should probably go. But all in all it's been a pretty good birthday. And I'm 27 now!! Scary!!!!

Oh well. Roll on Christmas.

You remind me of the babe....

It's been a funny week. Busy too, never good. Anyhoo, I essentially broke up for the weekend on Thursday, which was nice. After another expensive (but worth it) trip to Costco, we got home, ate, and watched Labyrinth. Have to say, I do love that film, it's awesome! I pretty much know it off by heart too but Bowie is just so phenomenal, I can't help myself! I've got Hostel to watch too, but Hefty won't watch it cos he's heard it's sicker and worse than Wolf Creek, which freaked me out big time. BUT, everyone I spoke to said it's just like Saw, if slightly more gruesome. But he won't watch it, so I'll have to find time to watch it on my own if I'm ever going to see it. I can live with gore, it's stuff like The Grudge (Japanese version, US one was piss poor) that gives me the wiggins. Who knows. If I ever see it I'll fill you in.
So yesterday was supposed to be a great day, putting up the tree, spot of Christmas shopping, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, we had the snagging list man round doing stuff that, well, needed doing. All we could do was sit in and wait. I did receive gifts from my super friend South African Caryn (including a birthday present, but I haven't opened that yet) which cheered me up. Some beef jerky-esque stuff called Biltong, and some Iced Zoo biscuits, which are like Iced Jems but in biscuit form. South African Caryn rules! She went back to her place of origin on Tuesday, for the next couple of years!!! So I can't see her or even talk to her, which sucks :0( So anyway that was a highlight, and the man didn't leave til about 2pm. We got ready and went to the local garden centre at that point, to pick up some additional decs. Got a nutty/berry wreathy thing, and some green garland stuff for the banisters. It looks pretty good, we put them up when we got home. Managed to get the tree up in the lounge too, it was all just a bit rushed cos we were so late doing it all.
Today, we went to M&S and bought a shed load of stuff. Meat, more meat, cakes, erm, other things I'm sure. Not as much as I had anticipated though, as alas, my birthday plans have been thwarted somewhat. basically, not one single person who was coming to my tea party, can come anymore. Genuine reasons, but it's put a bit of a downer on the whole thing. Still, my sister's coming round with little Biz in tow, and we have lots of nice food to eat. They're turning on the lights in the village too so we might go and see that. Nothing too exciting, but I'm sure it'll be cool anyway. Might watch The Santa Clause tonight, it's another corker. I need to get Muppet's Christmas Carol on DVD, my mucky VHS copy is kind of redundant since we got the B&O. So yes, tomorrow is my birthday, let's hope it's a good one! Got to go now, dinner is ready. Will return tomorrow!

iP - last day of being 26